Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, while I was walking home, a homeless man saw me and didn't ask for change, but how much I charged. FML
Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him that I had none, he yelled angrily, "Who comes to this city without money?" I replied, "Apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
Today, I was walking through a rich part of the city and saw 2 dollars on the ground. I didn't pick it so people wouldn't think I was poor. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
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Top comments
beerab 0
That's just MEAN on your part.
mardigrasqueen 0
You are a pompous bastard. You deserved a knife, not a pencil.
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Comments (813)
abnormalbird 11
The a-hole alarm is going off.
Irishopoly19 9
You sir, are an idiot. What kind of jackass does something like that.
awesomecd 3
Did the hobo ever get the dollar he deserved?
LaxGuy26 12
Just how stupid are you?
bonbon1559 20
well i guess the homeless man was correct, it is funny to stab people like you with pencils!
My__LifeSucksFML 7
That's a real douchedick move bro. Hope the pencil stab hurts.
VixieRattler 9
This is really strange because you are canadian, meaning stereotypically that you guys have more decency than most, sooooooooo ... you became an ass and this homeless man, most likely also canadian, had the decency to stab you with a pencil instead of a butter knife.
aBanana_1 10
Serves you right for being A douchebag.
kilullu 16
No way in hell would I do that to anyone. OP, what was even going through your mind?!
lavaman93 6
YDI of that's what is considered funny nowadays I'm not telling any more jokes