Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on my first day as a middle school substitute teacher, the class I was in had blue passes for boys and red passes for girls. The kid in the front row raised a number two for the bathroom, so I handed her a red pass, only for him to brush his hair back and say, "I'm a boy." The whole class laughed and called him "Babe". FML
Today, I was riding a bus. After having a conversation with my friend, I looked down and saw a little boy looking at me. He asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" As if that wasn't bad enough, when I responded that I was a girl, he said, "Oh. So, why do you have a boy voice then?" FML
Today, I had to suspend a student. Apparently, someone convinced him that he turned invisible. He walked into the girls locker room thinking he could not be seen. I work at a high school. FML
Today, as two of my students walked into my classroom, I said, "Hi, ladies". One of them screamed at me: "Did you just assume my gender?!" FML
Today, a little girl came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I said, "I'm a girl of course!" She walked away, looking dazed and saying, "Whoa." FML
Today, while in class, I was called down to the office. The principal showed me a video of two guys fighting in the school parking lot. I'm accused of being one of those guys. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I’m doing my clinicals at a teaching hospital. An irate patient began hurling slurs and demanded I leave the room during her exam. She didn’t care that I was a student; she thought I was a man. I’m not now nor have I ever been male. FML
Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML
Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML
Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML
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Top comments
sccrismyantidrg 4
That's horrible!
Kevlar29 0
Lolz next FML "Today, I got fired from work for making a 5 year old sob uncontrollably"
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Comments (257)
sccrismyantidrg 4
That's horrible!
pinkpillowz 0
omgsh! be more careful!
Bees_fml 0
OP, why did the student answer his own question? And why did you say Chris was the teacher?
ymonkey96 0
op never said Chris was the teacher
Bees_fml 0
"while substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy..."
Bobissmall 13
I blame the parents. Having a child that looks like a boy, and naming it Chris. =/
KingDingALing 9
I did the same thing...I felt really bad after that... :/
metallicatime 0
I am a total wanker. Don't feel sorry for me, I deserve to be vilified and hated. Thank you for listening.
Hgielad_720 0
53, it says "while I was...."
Bees_fml 0
There we go. The staff fixed 'em both now.
Zebidee 9
Eight moderated comments in a row! Is that a new record?
Sirin_fml 47
Three/six now. Comments not actually in reply to the thread they're in will be moderated :-)
flipflipflipidel 0
that's hillarious
anorexicbarbie 8
I think the mods should just edit the comment to something embarrassing or hilarious.
HahaHokayThen 10
hahaha that'd be funny. like if someone says "first" & the mods moderate it to "I like corn." or something. hahahaha random
neonokku 0
It's Chris's fault for looking like a guy
xpainx 1
Terrible thing, having a boy and naming it chris. Your life sucks. The parents and their child should be sterilized so they don't produce anymore freaks.
zkchild 0
I agree with #73 the parents set her up for failure.
mshooter 0
Wow 139 if you are the girl in the front in your pic then I must say you are absolutely gorgeous! Goddamn!
BabesYourAStar 0
138 win. that'd be funny'
neelia926 0
well they mightve named her Christina or something and they nickname her Chris, thats what my friends mom wants us to call her, so it might or might not be their fault.
FEZ16 3
139 just sit this one out
duma191 21
I like corn!
nightmaree_fml 0
wow
Mirelly13 6
I don't get this...it says that OP was subing for A MIDDLE SCHOOL....I didn't know that you still had to line up to go to the bathrooms when you get into junior high....
Mirelly13 6
I don't get this...it says that OP was subing for a MIDDLE SCHOOL...I didn't know you still had to line up for the bathrooms once you get into junior high.
iknowwhatimsayin 0
mustv been a really buttchugly kid
nevershouttami 11
Why would a middle school class still line up for the bathroom?
WavinFlag 3
how could u not tell?
allie2590 31
Especially with little kids.
BlackMoon_fml 9
Yeah, it is sometimes. This same thing happened in my class in grade school except the boy looked like a girl. It was funny but I felt real bad for the kid. :
wwerulez14 6
#3, you're telling me you've honestly never seen a person (children included) that you honestly couldn't tell their gender?
KikiThePug 0
As I was taking my daughter to class her friend that's a girl had a mohawk, baggy, ripped jeans and a really boy-ish shirt. She then said her mommy did it to her. Eeeyesh!
Gwen4var 31
My mom had boy girl twins with my step dad, and now they're over a year olds, it still takes me a minute to tell them apart... granted, I live with my dad.
Allforthelawlz 0
4th!
Moo_Horse 0
good for you want a cookie
xMexicanXJesusx 0
12- YES!!!! :O
ohsuzykuew 0
where are the moderators when u actually want them?
TheLetterZero 7
Kicking puppies down a storm drain.
Rashaya 0
Holy sh!t
Kevlar29 0
Lolz next FML "Today, I got fired from work for making a 5 year old sob uncontrollably"
blankaex 0
5-year-olds in middle school FTW.
Kevlar29 0
Lolz shit I didn't read that part :L what's middle school btw? I'm from Ireland :P
WavinFlag 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
middle school is a type of school that is on the middle of all the other schools.
Kevlar29 0
So like... 7 to 12 year olds?
Fortuitous 0
In America, middle school is also known as junior high, the two years before high school. The average kid enters middle school at age 12 and graduates at 14.
Mehness 0
34 - I thought the majority of schools had gone grades 6-9. Most were like what you said a couple centuries ago... so it's normally age 11-13 or 14.
xMexicanXJesusx 0
14- It's 3 years of school in where you usually go in at age (depending when you were born) 11 or 12 and then after those three years are up you go to grade 9
ohsuzykuew 0
my middle school was 4th thru 8th grades. so like ages 9 thru 14.
Toxxic_Blackout 0
where I live (southeast Texas) middle school and jr high are two different things. middle school is 5-6 grade and jr high is 7-8 grade.
citrus915 0
that's how it is in the virgin islands as well ^ it being two separate things
thesunsetglow_fml 8
in Canada jr high is grades 7 to 9 so ages 11/12 to 14/15. depends on when you were born.
Geiko_fml 0
In PA, JR. High is 7-9 and High School is 10-12.
skyttlz 32
Grades 6-8 are Middle School
tencentsakiss 19
In MD, middle school is grades 6-8. I had no idea there was so much variation here.
harmoo_fml 0
middle school is the worst idea ever. middle schoolers start more drama than high schoolers because thats when mos of the girls start their puberty and all that crap.. btw, mine is like 7th and 8th grade
vikingunicorn 1
In Quebec we don't have middle school. We have Elementary (K through 6) and high school (7 through 11).
kayladance101 13
in massachusetts, my schools are elementary K-3, intermediate 4-6, middle 7-8, and high school 9-12
sectator 0
3 years
ohSNAPyall 27
You get the gist.
Kevlar29 0
xD I think I get it
KikiThePug 0
I was 9 in 6th grade which means I was young in middle school. :(
KikiThePug 0
I was 9 in 6th grade which means I was young in middle school. :(
NewSlang 0
Middle school is normally grades 6-8, so they start at around 11 years old, and graduate at about 14.
mcsteamy88 0
I went a huge school system so the grades were: Primary: K & 1st, Elementary: 2nd & 3rd, Intermediate: 4th-6th, Jr. High: 7th & 8th, and High School: 9th-12th!
CharlieOh 2
In VA middle school is grades 7-8 and high school I'd grades 9-12
CoonAndFriends 0
noo in PA where i go it's 6-8
glutgyoogle 6
Middle school= grades 6-8 (ages 11-14) Jr. high= grades 7-9 (ages 12-15)
Creamysweeps 5
I go to an american skool in china (shanghai) and it's like elementary 1-5 middle skool 6-8 and HS 9-12 GONNA B A FRESHMAN IN AUGUST WOOOOT.
alphagirl87 5
Where's 12th grade????
pent_up_rage666 7
in wales years 7 through to 11 are normally in the same school... **** we are weird :P
Silently1479 5
where I'm from its elementary 1-5 middle 6-8 and high school 9-12
Fortuitous 0
"There's a she-wolf in the closet." On a more serious note, you need some glasses, or maybe you just need to pay attention to your surroundings.
MyFirstKiss 0
what the hell is a she-wilf
xpopcorn 0
there is a chance she really couldn't tell. I have had those kind of adults come threw my drive threw. :(
Fortuitous 0
I need some more clarity on this. Call me crazy, but what exactly is a "drive THREW"? Please don't yell at me if I'm the only who doesn't know this.
killabee 0
My name is Michael and I was always yelled at by subs during roll call for lying.:( If she's anything like me she'll just think you're a douche and move on. No permanent trauma.:)
DocBastard 40
Really? And what did you throw at them?
killabee 0
Did not mean to post my comment here.:(
Bees_fml 0
* come through my drive-through
Niaa_fml 0
#57, it can be drive-through and/or drive-thru. Both are fine.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
17: I'm kinda surprised people don't realize that Michael was originally a girl's name. It was used for a female in the Bible, anyway. Do people ever pronounce it as Michelle? I like Michael much better than Michelle. I knew a girl named Ryan once. I like that too.
sirbobbylight 0
15 its where you get your food at fast food restaurants so you don't have to get out of your car
Fortuitous 0
#76, I know. I was Grammar Naziing. Couldn't you tell?
MadPercussion 0
76 - No that's a drive-through. I'm not sure anyone knows what a drive-threw is.
Fortuitous 0
It really is, pendatik. Some people just don't get sarcasm or Grammar Nazism. It's okay though. I feel sorry for them and hope that one day, they will see the light.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I, for one, am more than slightly disturbed. Quitely disturbed, even. =
MissErikaHart 0
I knew 2 guys named Shannon and Stacy. also, Tyler that was a girl.
ImaginaryFoe 1
I was might-ly diaturbed myself.
skyttlz 32
there's a girl in my math class named Devon
killabee 0
@irishjanedoe: They always pronounce it correctly them look up at me and start muttering "Michelle, Mitchell, Mik....?" My husband's name is Shannon, which only stands to further confuse people, but we don't mind.:)
chillinAK 9
I once knew a male named Ashley, and a female named Mark. Eh, go fig.
Smokering 0
MICHAL was the woman in the Bible. Not Michael.
killabee 0
That's still the origin of the name, the spelling has just been altered for pronunciation. It's actually Mī'chal.
5t3ff1k4h 45
I went to school with a girl named Kyle.
Leahbabe15 0
You're hilarious. Lol
Hannerzzz 0
You shouldve just let her be, Im not sure someone would go in the wrong bathroom line for the fun of it...
Sorrows 5
What the ****, are you serious? I agree with #8, glasses for sure. And maybe for someone to knock some knowledge into your pathetic head. Can't believe you got a teaching career, pfft.
IzumiChan 0
I agree!! (btw your pretty sorrows)
IzumiChan 0
* you're sorry epic fail x.x
Bees_fml 0
Her pretty sorrows?
monkeygrrlee 0
what about them? :) (I am a training grammar Nazi)
Geiko_fml 0
Better work on capitalization then. XD
IzumiChan 0
Lol yeah probably so :P.
anorexicbarbie 8
72 No.