Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back where I work and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand, she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML
Today, while in class, my friend would not stop annoying me by tapping me on the shoulder every so often. After the fifth time, I lost my patience, told him to F off, and slapped his hand. Only it wasn't my friend tapping my shoulder this time, it was my teacher. FML
Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friendzone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, a student told me to "F*** off!" I reported it to my boss and the student's parent, who is also a teacher at the school. My boss deemed it a minor issue and said we wouldn't be following discipline policy. Now, my boss frequently visits my classroom to bully me, likely due to the two of them being drinking buddies. FML
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down, laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML
Today, I was in school when I got up to ask the teacher a question. For no reason, the guy sitting next to me punched me in the gut so hard I collapsed and saw stars. The teacher simply rolled her eyes and told me to get back to work. FML
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Top comments
Blizzicus 20
how old is this kid
KeannaLove 32
Be grateful you're on his good side OP.
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Comments (79)
Blizzicus 20
how old is this kid
anythingmustbe 18
How old is this kid?*
DEATHBYEX1LE 11
20 - That was COMPLETELY unnecessary.
esines 9
That was completely unnecessary.*
vipirius 18
Well if a 6-10 year old knows in vivid detail how to murder someone, the parents have a lot of explaining to do.
scarface90 8
Was this kid's name Harrison Morgan (Dexter's son)?
mattjamt 16
37 -Shit dude, haven't you ever seen television? They make suicide jokes on cartoon network now.
j_729 18
On any call of duty game you can find 8-10 year olds. I even know a 10 year old with gta v. Its ridicules how young some kids are exposed to violence/torturing in video games and tv
gloryrawr 8
Funny you should say that. Collectively, their favorite video game is COD: Black Ops
KeannaLove 32
Be grateful you're on his good side OP.
patrickalamo 48
FML your coworker. Keep your nose where it belongs.
golden_warrior 23
Why are you afraid? Psychopaths always have a soft spots for the ones that are nice to them
thee_ag 1
But they can also turn on you like it was nobody's business
Teyros 24
In Dexter a psychopath killed his own mother :O. ( I know it's just a show). *hides*
jensen21 19
But sometimes they kidnap and hold them hostage for "protection" or to keep them company.
yellowaholic 25
My dad is a psychopath trust me there is no good side..
addioty 19
That's. . . disturbing.
Kenton1008 21
No, I thought it was really comforting.
addioty 19
Someone's getting a little testy, eh?
RedPillSucks 33
Be careful. He's probably plotting, in vivid detail, how to kill you.
ChenShiMing 8
I think you should report the kid for the safety of your coworker if he was being dead serious. It's better safe than sorry :/
SumBur 11
DEAD serious. Haaaaaa.
datburn 9
did you just?
SumBur 11
I just did.
ChenShiMing 8
Gurllllllll...
TyT63 12
stay on his good side, you don't wanna make the hit list
ebonyirony 29
Well ****.
HortonThelephant 15
Reminds me of Damien from South Park lol
annie_nk 23
Because holding his hand comforted him, it sounds like he's elementary age. If so, simply tell him it isn't okay to talk like that. But no matter his age, I think he should talk to a school counselor. There might be some underlying problems since he was so blunt and free about a scary topic.
repKyle95 24
I have to agree, but you have to be very careful about the way you put it. I should know - I was pretty much the exact same way up until I was 12. If you go with a very condescending, scolding attitude, the immediate tendency is to associate you as an "enemy", and if they do end up becoming mentally ill enough they may react violently towards those people that they associate with that. You have to make sure that you make it very clear that you're telling them because you care about them and don't want them to have troubles down the road.
iSativa 24
You can go to jail for threats like that. I agree, you should report them.