Today, I was cleaning up after my mom visited with her dogs. She'd left a little pill jar on the kitchen counter. Had she forgotten her medicine? It made a weird, soft sound when I shaked it. I opened the lid to shake some pills into my hand, only it wasn't pills. It was two fat ticks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML
Today, I was taking my morning pills. There had been a lot of fruit flies in my house lately. I grabbed a cup of water beside to sink to wash the pills down. As soon as I tasted the drink, I realized it was vinegar and dish soap used to trap the flies. I washed my pills down with dead flies. FML
Today, my daughter wanted to show me the tooth she had just lost. As I was in a rush to leave for work, I quickly picked up and swallowed my pill that was on the kitchen table. It was only until I looked back down at the table did I see not only my pill, but one extremely angry daughter glaring at me. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML
Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML
Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML
Today, just like everyday, I opened my med box, took out a blister pack and took one of the pills before putting the pack back in the box. Today, not like everyday, I had diarrhea. Turns out one of the packs was laxatives put in my med box by my boyfriend because they looked the same as my meds. FML
Today, I caught my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
How dare you play with your mom's meds! I'll bet she's going to be... ...wait on it... ...ticked off!
RichardPencil 32
What the hell kind of doctor does your mom go to? If you notice a bag of leeches in your fridge after your mom visits, leave it alone -- it's very likely a bag of leeches.
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Comments (5)
FerociousCookie 12
YDI for not looking in before just blindly emptying the bottle onto your hand.
RichardPencil 32
How dare you play with your mom's meds! I'll bet she's going to be... ...wait on it... ...ticked off!
RichardPencil 32
What the hell kind of doctor does your mom go to? If you notice a bag of leeches in your fridge after your mom visits, leave it alone -- it's very likely a bag of leeches.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Are we playing Bingo?
Colleenfllorida 9
And the dr didnt prescribe anything to combat that side effect? 2 weeks of diarrhea can be dangerous. Demand a script for that!! In the meantime, Imodium and pedialyte to stay hydrated. Keep crackers and rice handy. Lots of water.