Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML
Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML
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Top comments
linnie_wesker 20
.... lock the door? I will never understand why people go to the bathroom, whether to shower or use the toilet, and don't lock the door. It's not that hard to figure out.
Garytt 0
Ask least it wasnt your dad
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Comments (145)
joee182 3
maybe she had the door like and her mom butterknifed it open:O
joee182 3
*locked. pardon me grammar nazis dont fire yet:3
VeganVampyre 27
Pretty sure "butterknifed" is not a proper verb. Now can we fire? :P
trolawlawl 0
Hows this a fml she loves you
sean0120 3
lol, that's exactly what i thought.
seanoc69 7
Kinky
kimmy91 12
Hopefully she was too drunk to remember haha.
csand1969 0
Must be in Alabama...FYL on both counts.
Meme1988 18
She loves you?! Lol! Still weird
KK3137 31
Would you have been happier if she was naked??
Dariasgee 0
That's not a FML...... that's a WTF LOL