Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML
Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
Today, I walked past my fly strip while a fly who had been caught, but hadn't yet died, was on it. While I was there, I could hear his frantic buzzing and see his little arms flailing like mad as he tried in vain to escape. Great. Now I feel like shit for putting these things up. What kind of a monster am I? FML
Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Today, I ordered some food to get delivered. When I opened the bag a fly flew out. FML
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Top comments
uxoriouswidow 0
That's what real men do. It isn't a legitimate kill unless your body is smeared with the victim's entrails.
marathdamane91 2
congratulations on catching and killing a fly it's quite hard
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Comments (75)
LtHoward 0
I don't see the big deal here, just wash your hands and get another shirt if it bugs you so much.
transio 0
Ummm... pay attention... his shirt doesn't bug him... HE bugged his SHIRT! :)
possumisawesome 0
In Soviet Russia, bug shirt you?
1love420 0
samantha_durano 6
haha, ewww groudy.
Tamara2011 0
lol, well hey that's an accomplishment you killed a fly with your bare hands,you could be the next karate kid, umm you might want to change your shirt how is this a fml again? at least you didn't eat it or something ..
Your_Dad 0
that's not really gross, or interesting. ah well.
Your_Dad 0
also, guy with pedo bear icon wins.
suppressed08 2
It isn't (well, for anyone but said fly). @11 and 18 - read the rules for posting, it does mention you should try to type properly (although we're questioning whether this is an FML so touche...)
yoogurtisgood 0
if it doesn't disgust you to have fly guts on your hand why not your shirt? just scrub it off who really cares
disgruntledyouth 0
was it a white shirt?
korn247 5
YDI.. shouldn't have killed the fly
Fuzzy_Old_Peache 0
eek?