Today, while breast feeding my 7 month-old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sang a sweet lullaby to my two year-old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML
Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
Today, my 9 month-old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML
Today, I woke up at 4 a.m., my back sore from being twisted like a pretzel due to my toddler. I successfully moved him, then my sick baby woke up, tried to nurse, screamed because he couldn’t breathe through his nose, screamed because I suctioned his nose, tried to nurse a blanket, then screamed when I offered him an actual boob. FML
Today, I leaned down to pick up my infant son from his highchair. He reached up and grabbed the first thing available to him: my nipple. I got purple-nurpled by my baby. FML
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
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Top comments
Pingvinai 37
Weaponize your voice against your enemies.
howard007 18
I think the baby is suggesting singing classes
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Comments (57)
bluebluhblou 15
Wow, your baby has critical, sophisticated ears.
kittycat2007 18
Everyone's a critic.
nreed32 20
Maybe you should have been singing something other than "Move bitch, get out the way."
hippo1234 19
just a thought: the humming could have been really loud because he was on your chest. It's not that you're a bad singer per se, it just might have been too loud.
candicorn 23
Yes, this is exactly what I thought too. Also, the humming could have been causing slight vibrations in her chest area that the baby found disconcerting while breast feeding. Nothing much, but enough for the baby to notice.
Bluepies 24
How on earth could you know what a baby's favorite song is? It's not like they can tell you.
Enslaved 38
Of course they can tell you. Babies can laugh, smile, express joy when that song was sung (at other occasions.) There's more to communication then just speaking. (:
sahmnc420 13
Haha I feel ur pain. Mine is almost 2 and tries hitting. If I sing goofy made up songs tgou he loves it.
CharlieM78 9
Must not be his favorite song then
ToxicTyrael 26
He was probably just not in the mood for your singing. Don't worry :) Congrats on your baby.
Vagitarian1 10
I won't mind if you hum to me while I have some!
Silk_Routes 14
reminding you to concentrate on one thing only