Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, my 9 month-old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML
Today, while breast feeding my 7 month-old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML
Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML
Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML
Today, at 2:30am, I heard my baby crying on the monitor. As I got out of bed, she stopped crying and started laughing. There's nobody else in the house. FML
Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML
Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, I sang a sweet lullaby to my two year-old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML
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Top comments
ScratchCatPower 32
"Hush little fridgey don't you cry, food loves you and so do I."
Kidd_Ant 18
Well at least we know you are one of the most caring parents in the world.
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Comments (40)
Allornone 35
The fridge needs love too.
Kidd_Ant 18
Well at least we know you are one of the most caring parents in the world.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
Yes, and hopefully OP has a partner to help take care of the baby because it sounds to me like OP needs a nap.
Nilorak 24
Did you offer the fridge a pacifier?
ScratchCatPower 32
"Hush little fridgey don't you cry, food loves you and so do I."
james_logan 19
Rockabye fridgey on the kitchen floor... I get so happy when I open your door...
Tejanoswhy 19
Who else sang this in Eminem's voice
Nilorak 24
No one.
WarMachine68 24
I did, #11. stiffen that upper lip up.
Bzu123 8
if you don't love the fridge who will?
RodzillaX 30
As long as you don't abandon your precious appliances. The Brave Little Toaster ruined my childhood. Best of luck with your offspring though.
weveallbeenthere 30
at about the 4 month time frame, you go for long drives to sooth the kid, no particular place, just drive. at 6 months you end up at the hospital wondering if something is physically or mentally wrong.
laden_swallow09 35
With you, or the kid?
Le_ponderer 14
It's a totally acceptable mummy-brain syndrome. My aunt started to order a meal in that baby-talk voice, before she realised it and corrected herself.
nanner6206 24
lol
may14th 26
My mom did she often rocked random things without noticing. Like, she was once on line at the store holding a box of diapers rocking it until someone sled what she was doing.
ljennette25 12
My first had me that way too. I guess I was crazy to have two more, but I got lucky and they weren't nearly as needy.
james_logan 19
You have 3 fridges?
Sasquatch7788 6
been there. trust me it gets better
MisstressNicole 20
When? I'm at the 6 month mark and now I can't put her down. She screams like a banshee every time I do.