Today, while breast feeding my 7 month-old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sang a sweet lullaby to my two year-old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML
Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
Today, my 9 month-old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML
Today, I woke up at 4 a.m., my back sore from being twisted like a pretzel due to my toddler. I successfully moved him, then my sick baby woke up, tried to nurse, screamed because he couldn’t breathe through his nose, screamed because I suctioned his nose, tried to nurse a blanket, then screamed when I offered him an actual boob. FML
Today, I leaned down to pick up my infant son from his highchair. He reached up and grabbed the first thing available to him: my nipple. I got purple-nurpled by my baby. FML
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
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Top comments
Pingvinai 37
Weaponize your voice against your enemies.
howard007 18
I think the baby is suggesting singing classes
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Comments (57)
sjworcester 8
Same situation with my daughter except she kept sucking away but reached up and smacked her hand on my mouth!
MonCapitan 4
Some men like to have a meal in peace and quiet.
d1tzybl0nd3 3
gee, i wonder who wrote this... signed, auntie Jay ;)
ameliaruth09 15
hahaha! hi auntie jay :) he can't wait to see you
elixaaaaa 13
My toddlers scream if I sing to them :) now I do it when they cry on long car trips. I'm an awesome parent
FunkMyPrettyLife 3
awhh I'm sorry, OP! Maybe he just didn't like that specific song.
jasirMommy 8
ctfu that means he want you to shit the hell up cuz you couldn't sing
foxy4353 10
Don't be so down about it, he could've just been tired.
subzero22 8
Well considering he's probebly heard the same song for 7 months he's probebly getting tired of it :p
bleedingglitter 24
I have a brother who cries anytime anyone sings. He just turned 3 and he still does it. Birthday parties are a pain in the ass with him around.
Sickamore6789 7
How the **** does a baby have a favorite song