Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I had a nosebleed at work after having recent surgery. As I was walking to the bathroom, I tripped and fell, sending blood splattering everywhere. My manager, who was walking by, looked at me and said, “You’re really committed to the bit.” I was too embarrassed to respond. FML
Today, I had the longest, bloodiest, bloody nose ever when I was at work. I got blood on a few materials as I was running to the restroom. I work in a food factory, so everything had to be sanitized and thrown out. Now management wants me to pay for everything we had to throw out. FML
Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML
Today, I got a painful scratch on my nose. Nasty kitty? Nope. I never imagined a dried booger stuck in my handkerchief could be this hard and this sharp. FML
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML
Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML
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Top comments
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Jeez, how deep were you scouting?
alexup24 13
You must trim your fingernails brethren.
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Comments (90)
DocBastard 40
Here's an idea for you, genius - keep your fingers out of your damned nose. Didn't your mother ever teach you not to do that? She didn't? You mean she left it up to me?? Fine then. DON'T ******* DO THAT AGAIN, STUPID.
Isabelana 5
Don't you think that's slightly harsh...? Everyone does that at one time or another, some without realizing it. It's basically human nature. It's not like OP is an unmentionable freak. Plus, rather that then her having boogers hanging out of her nose. As long as no one could see her, and she put the boogers into a napkin or something, it's not that big of a deal. Just unfortunate that she hurt herself + screamed.
DocBastard 40
I'm sorry, was I supposed to pat OP on her back and say "There there, it'll be ok"? Hell, I was given the name "DocBastard" for a reason, and it wasn't for my dashing good looks.
Calyx_fml 22
Chill Doc. Picking your nose is like taking a shit. Everyone does it but no one else wants to see you do it. Unless your'e into that sort of thing.
MysticKnight 3
Yes, I think you were named bastard for your dashing good looks. To live up to your name, you should pat OP's back "there, there" and offer her a hot beverage.
skyeyez9 25
You were supposed to ask her if she would like a hot beverage? Like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory show.
22cute 17
Maybe Doc expects praise and a pat for being such a bastard all the time.
perdix 31
"A bug flew up there." Always have that one ready if you want to be a picker.
SadIife 6
Find anything worthwhile up there... Except for gold?
demonkonga 5
Say u have a nosebleed =_=
Devin91 20
You should've just blown your nose.
Calyx_fml 22
... and you should have just pulled up your pants, Narcissus.
MysticKnight 3
He likes it like that brethren.
gingerfly91 1
I think you can leave your pants where they are.
debins33 1
Yum
Amethyst888 14
Yum? Are you sure you're responding to the right FML or do you just eat boogers and found this FML appetizing?
b0ngs 7
"I bashed my nose." there ya go. Now if you ate them boogers...thats a whole other story
BeatifulPenguin 4
How about the excuse, "Nose bleed!!!", dumba*s
reneetlovesyou 30
If you're censoring cusswords, you probably shouldn't be on this site.
1094568 1
Wow I could of expected this from a guy but a girl? I am shocked...
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Should've told them the cocaine was no good.