Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I had a nosebleed at work after having recent surgery. As I was walking to the bathroom, I tripped and fell, sending blood splattering everywhere. My manager, who was walking by, looked at me and said, “You’re really committed to the bit.” I was too embarrassed to respond. FML
Today, I had the longest, bloodiest, bloody nose ever when I was at work. I got blood on a few materials as I was running to the restroom. I work in a food factory, so everything had to be sanitized and thrown out. Now management wants me to pay for everything we had to throw out. FML
Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML
Today, I got a painful scratch on my nose. Nasty kitty? Nope. I never imagined a dried booger stuck in my handkerchief could be this hard and this sharp. FML
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML
Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML
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Top comments
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Jeez, how deep were you scouting?
alexup24 13
You must trim your fingernails brethren.
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Comments (90)
Bob343434 10
Why did you scream?
kupbel 8
Just say your nose started bleeding say its because you were trying to dry up your sinuses and they got to dry
imaghostbusteryo 1
That's one of the many reasons why you should only pick your nose in the privacy of your own home.
shanhigh 2
uhh. hello? that's why there's NOSEBLEEDS. man u are horrible at excuses..
hurrican_fml 0
"It wasn't my fault! My finger nail cut the inside of my nose when I was scratching!"
AloysiusWeasley 15
'Scouting for Boogers'? Thanks for the laugh, my brain decided to hook that phrase up with somebody that I used to know, yelling that at passerbys out the moon roof of my old car.
patsl 2
Say: "I was scratching my nose!"
patsl 2
Say you were scratching
DrBlack 9
My god... I thought people stopped picking their noses when they were out of pre-school.
mowmowlife 21
Sometimes you just can't breathe or they're severely annoying. Sometimes you just need to pick. Naysayers need to geeeet overrr ittt. It's not like anyone's picking their noses, or wiping the finds on your keyboard or doorhandles, because you wash your hands afterward, of course. If anyone's dumb enough not to, then there's reason for trouble, but no.