Today, while at football practice, my teammates and I were on water break. At the bus barn next to the field, a good-looking girl was washing a bus. Some of the guys started to yell pick-up lines at her from 50 yards away, and pretty soon I chime in. She turns around. It was my younger sister. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML
Today, I was talking to a swimmer I just met. I saw a cute guy and whispered to her, "That guy is hot." She asked "Who?" I pointed at him. She turned to see him, then turned back to me and said "Ew, that's my brother." She went to him, whispered something. He turned around to see me and said, "EW." FML
Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML
Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML
Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML
Today, as I walked on to the bus, the girl I liked whispered something to her friend. Curious, I asked what was so funny. She said she never realized that when I got on, I shook the bus. FML
Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML
Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair, and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML
Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML
Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML
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Top comments
itsnotmytree 0
That's what you get for being an obnoxious ass.
AndreaKina 0
pschh you totally deserved that, I feel bad for the girl
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Comments (250)
Madman85 0
Hahahaha, funniest thing ever. Not the fml but the fact that people are writing essays to deviate from the topic and put forth their arguments on chauvinism, incest, global warming, 9/11 and Hulk Hogan. I love how things spiral out of control and end up on different topics altogether.
der_Jabberwhock 0
Incest is NOT best! I repeat, incest is NOT best!
go_wings 0
Oh, shut up, foreigner. Jealousy is so unbecoming.
mumafiedmustangs 0
i post a story about how i thought my sister is hot now every one wants to have a go with her fml. haha thats what you get. incest IS the best!
AloysiusWeasley 15
YDI for being an asshole. I hope the entire school picks on you for the rest of your school career for being an ass to your little sister, freak.
person1234man 0
FAIL
ghostychi 9
YDI for being a follower and not a leader. Just plain pitiful.
nuutsacker 0
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOOLLOOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOL
nuutsacker 0
my only question is, why did you feel the need to post this????
jahwn 12
YDI, pickup lines are stupid as shit and make you sound like an idiot.
nuutsacker 0
hey #101, and anyone who agrees with 101: -why cant hellen keller drive? because shes a woman -i shit on your dead -a thousand dicks in your religion -a dick in your mothers rib cage -i wipe sweat off my balls and flick it in your general direction -suck butter from my ass -may you be struck by a dick -your mother sucks bears in the forest -**** the 18 generations of your ancestors -let the rats ejaculate on you -the pope ***** you -stick your hand in my ass and jerk off with my shit -shampoo my dick hair with your saliva -brush your teeth, my dick will be inspecting soon -if you were an ice cream flavor you'd be pralines and dick -how many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? trick question, feminists cant change anything! -did u hear about the woman who was a respected member of society? no, me neither OP - if you live in west virginia or anywhere around there, then good for you. if not, then this is truly FYL
Emma_91 0
You are definite proof that the human species is doomed to extinction.
nuutsacker 0
i wasnt done: -piss into a transformer -i dry my socks on your mothers ****** -you eat pubic hair with salt dip -i dream about farting on you -i empty my nose at your ancestors -floss your teeth with my pubic hairs -i put plastic wrap over your mothers face and shit on it -may you get ****** by a blind bear -i urinate on your grandparents i could do this all day
Emma_91 0
Why do I even bother to reply? Dumbasses like you will never learn anything. -_-
nuutsacker 0
you know what will stop humans from being doomed to extinction? if you lick my butthole. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOL
Emma_91 0
Please tell me you're 5 years old. Otherwise that's just pathetic. -_-