Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the 7 year old boy I was babysitting studied my upper lip and said "It's okay, my daddy won't let me shave yet either." I'm a girl. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML
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Top comments
mk58 31
You're like his bitch.
Mi24hind 0
I see a pimp in the making
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Comments (280)
qazhby 0
my comment got moderated :'( sooo get in the kitchen and make me a sammich(:
theaws0m3guy 4
You're his bitch.
flockz 20
86- yes. sorry lemme rephrase that, "OH MY GOD YES YES YES YES" (cries like a pubescent little boy) as long as im the guy though. or a manly chick. but of course :D
DeepDownThere 3
Dude. Why don't you guys just get married?
ngm_fml 5
whipped!
littlemissFYL 5
if you two do decide on getting married, can I be the bridesmaid? :D
Iamnotmyself 17
-110 I am so happy with this decision! I'm finally at peace knowing I'll have a happy lengthy relationship. -111 I love it here in Vegas, I might move to New York once I'm done with college.
Iamnotmyself 17
-113 Hey, if flockz is bi like me, let's have a threesome!
iluvboobies 9
Are you at least the bottom bitch, OP ?
Mattxy8 5
being gay is just....gay? hope you have fun in hell though...