Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the 7 year old boy I was babysitting studied my upper lip and said "It's okay, my daddy won't let me shave yet either." I'm a girl. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML
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Top comments
mk58 31
You're like his bitch.
Mi24hind 0
I see a pimp in the making
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Comments (280)
JERZBornNRaised 7
hahaha gotta love kids, they are funny as hell can't deny that :)))
adropofpeace 8
I wonder if the mods realize they just create more senseless rambling when they delete the senseless rambling that started it all?
Iamnotmyself 17
-183 Who cares I like it when a comment has 30 thumbs downthat says: "13863626, Oh ya like that would happen, your about as smart as my retarded cousin, why don't you get out of the basement"
tacocannon99 5
that's bot what your mom said last night
megatone 2
what a lil pimp
IvanElFregon 0
lol
peacelovepugs 7
fyl
DeepDownThere 3
Haha. Irish Car Bombs and Crown and Coke tonight. God I love vacation.
KayDayParade 0
so you and Rihanna are into the same thing? ..good for you
iMagzzzy 0
Once whipped, always whipped.