Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the 7 year old boy I was babysitting studied my upper lip and said "It's okay, my daddy won't let me shave yet either." I'm a girl. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML
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Top comments
mk58 31
You're like his bitch.
Mi24hind 0
I see a pimp in the making
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Comments (280)
adropofpeace 8
Yes, my soul is at ease. Except I spelled a word like 'curious' wrong so I sort of feel the need to put myself to sleep.
DeepDownThere 3
Creeping and taking a Cleveland Steamer straight up just gets me so hot. I love it when a woman takes control. Ke$ha needs to come over right now. Yeah.
yankeebaceball 1
clearly your fault lol wanna be my GF??
Iamnotmyself 17
-171 I remember when my grandmas soul was at rest... Then she met my bf and had a heart attack. HAHAHA TROLOLOL
DeepDownThere 3
My god. That was simply marvelous. Like a ******** from a toothless, aging homeless man. You are a clever woman you know that. Yeah.... I'm done now. I'm gonna go get drunk.
Iamnotmyself 17
-172 I can be you Ke$ha
dearbarn 0
spank that ass
Dudelike89 8
V-10 challenger. Nice.
adropofpeace 8
174, I'd pay attention to what you just said but I'm enjoying watch DeepDownThere get moderated repeatedly.
kingcamo 0
ha that's ******* awsome
Iamnotmyself 17
-179 I agree, I about killed myself laughing