Today, when I got home from work, my fiancé was finishing up with the plumber who had just installed new fixtures for our shower. I decided that I was going to be the first to break it in. I went to the bathroom, got undressed and went to start the water. The OTHER plumber was still in there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML
Today, I tried to fix a leaking pipe under the sink. I watched a YouTube tutorial and was feeling confident that I could get the job done. Two hours later, half of the kitchen was practically flooded because I forgot to cut the water off, and scrambled to actually find the main valve, then I had to call an emergency plumber, who showed up, laughed, and fixed it in five minutes. FML
Today, we had to turn the water off due to a massive leak in the kitchen sink that the plumber was currently fixing. I managed to wait two hours before my uncooperative digestive tract said it couldn't wait any longer and I had to take a mega dump in the bathroom. I couldn't flush the toilet or wash my hands. FML
Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML
Today, I finally started a DIY home improvement project I'd been putting off for a while now. As I was drilling into the wall, I managed to hit a plumbing pipe that I didn't know was there and started flooded my living room. FML
Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML
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Top comments
heythereaustin 0
uhm... how didn't you notice? I doubt your bathroom is that big...
AssDan 0
Sounds like a ****.
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Comments (58)
DocBastard 40
Baw wah ah waoh wah ah waoh /bad **** music badly transliterated
FFML_314 12
In order to make good ****, you need a few good willing participants. I just don't see a plumber as being one. Now a doctor... This conversation is going nowhere good.
sourgirl101 29
What? Come on! Plumbers are good at piping!
TheDrifter 24
Are you saying a doctor should be able to lay pipe better than a plumber 16? Or just expressing dissatisfaction with the plumbers wardrobe as a **** costume?
FFML_314 12
I'm expressing my concern of fornicating with someone that plunges shit for a living. The thought has a way of turning me off.
DocBastard 40
Nurse: Doctor, I'm not sure he's going to make it! Doctor: No, no one is dying today. Not on my watch. Nurse: Oh, Doctor, you're so confident in a non-arrogant kind of way! Doctor: Yes I am. Nurse: Take me! Bah waoh wah ah wah ah waoh...
anti_average 5
Just imagine how hard he'd lay pipe though :O Doctors on the other hand have not been known to lay pipe... :(
TheDrifter 24
I guess you don't go for ... nevermind, you're right, this line of thought is gutter bound.
FFML_314 12
Muahahaha! Look what I've started.
sourgirl101 29
Not I! I love a guy that can get as dirty as my mind. My husband's a manager at Home Depot! (: Sooo Anna, when's your next doctor's appointment?
FFML_314 12
Just got back. :D
perdix 31
FFML_314, what's wrong for plunging shit for a living? Some people really enjoy anal, and if you can get paid for providing such a service, what's the problem?
FFML_314 12
The problem is I won't go near it. :D
xundria 5
Where is your punctuation, Mr. Grammar Nazi?
FFML_314 12
Thank you 53, for being a complete and total buzzkill.
DocBastard 40
Yeah, really. I was totally having a fantasy about some shenanigans with nurses, and now I had to read about how plumbers are people too? Goddammit.
bigbadtim 7
Scene 1: Woman gets into shower Scene 2: Fat plumber enters the bathroom Scene 3: Woman sees Plumber's Butt Scene 4: Fat plumber gets into shower with woman Scene 5: Hot sex with woman and fat plumber in shower
BakNBitz 0
fap fap fap. fap fap fapfapfapfapfapfafap.... fap fa- BOOM!
truthinlies 1
63 what are the lines? is he like "Madame your "faucet" is loose let me screw that tight again."
twinny_sc 13
I hate to say it but that was stupid OP. Actually I didn't hate to say it, I lied.
BethiiGeex 0
LOL your picture "Aww a heart shaped cookie" XD
imright24 0
YDI for having to hire a plumber just to install new fixtures.
sweet_candy_ 17
Ydi for not noticing someone was in there.
underpaid011 0
that was a cool free show!! thanks ;) -- the other plumber
feenicks 0
Besides not noticing him, was it such a big job that you needed 2 plumbers?
Jimbo2000 0
The other plumber might have been a trainee.
sourgirl101 29
Most companies have them working in pairs unless it's a private plumber.
perdix 31
I hope the OTHER plumber doesn't sue your fiance for mental anguish and sexual harassment for having his eyes assaulted by your fat, ugly, hairy body! Yeah, everyone else is assuming the OP was hot, but I'm seeing it otherwise.
missory_missouri 0
I was thinking the same thing lol I was reading through the comments wondering why everyone presupposed she was hot. Thank you. (:
TheDrifter 24
Or they're just not picky. If she was narrow enough to fit through the door she's fine by me.
Air_Force001 0
he's gonna make that into a awesome plumber story xD
zemo999 0
in a big hurry to beat him huh? no biggie...not like something he ain't seen before....
Waffle817 0
lol what a great beginning for a cheesy movie