Today, a hummingbird somehow got into my house. I spent two and a half hours trying to get it out after finally using a blanket to catch it. I run outside to release it from my hands, and it flew back into my house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent twenty minutes trying to shoo a bird out of my apartment. After finally getting it outside, I closed the window, turned around, and realized I'd locked myself out instead. The bird flew away. I didn't. FML
Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML
Today, a pigeon flew into my apartment through an open window. I tried for 20 minutes to guide it back outside. It eventually left on its own, then immediately flew back in through the window again. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I was woken up by a bird screaming its guts out. My cat had somehow managed to catch a bird and bring it inside. My 9 a.m. morning began with trying to catch a bird in my own home. FML
Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat, and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML
Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML
Today, I came home to find that my sweet kitten had gotten out and dragged a bird inside, where he ripped it to shreds. I found the bird's head in my underwear drawer. FML
Today, it's 1 a.m. and once again a freaking bird has flew into my house from the attic. My cats are of course all crazy right now as it sits in my room, in a high corner beyond reach. My children are sleeping and I have no way to let it outside from where it is right now. Oh and it's freezing outside. FML
Today, a bird ran into my window. My overzealous cat ran at it like the Flash and smashed his face in the window. He yelped and ran away, then as I was running to see if he was OK, I slammed my face in the door jamb. FML
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Top comments
DrAwesome 6
Don't hummingbirds have short lifespans? I think it would be a lot less effort if you just let it die, and maybe become friends with it and exchange pleasantries while it was still alive. Maybe play a few board games, eat ice cream together, ride a two-person bike. Then, once he's riding the bike, ditch him, go back to your house and lock all of the doors and windows. This is me rambling.
WearingHats 14
Or let 3 more in.
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Comments (72)
Jonkbaby 23
that's some f'ed up s
pertained 12
to kill a mocking humming bird...
mak3_1t_ra1n 0
good job not closing the door. u could invite a friend over n pull a Chris farley/David spade. black sheep anyone?
diegomanguelo 5
you left the door open. ydi
jakeJIGSAW 2
how do you expect him to shut the door while carrying a bird? It'd be kinda difficult and what if he had no keys? FYL op
DrAwesome 6
Don't hummingbirds have short lifespans? I think it would be a lot less effort if you just let it die, and maybe become friends with it and exchange pleasantries while it was still alive. Maybe play a few board games, eat ice cream together, ride a two-person bike. Then, once he's riding the bike, ditch him, go back to your house and lock all of the doors and windows. This is me rambling.
thedevil96 0
you forgot to mention change the locks
WhipMyHair 0
lol...thats funny, but I would have been scared!
Hystical 0
You should have closed the door before you let him free!
ohrlynow 9
Two and a half hours? You were definitely set on getting that bird out of your house. After thirty minutes I would've gotten fed up and opened all the doors and windows to let it find its own way out.
WearingHats 14
Or let 3 more in.
ArianS2 0
Why hate on the bird? It just wants a warm place and family. You hater:<
Fortuitous 0
Oh my, KaySL, you are one funny duckling, you know that? Me gustan sus comentarios.
DocBastard 40
Kay, ease up on Arian. She's only 16. Plus, she's the master race.
DocBastard 40
Kay, I just got off the line with Warner Brothers' lawyers, and they would like $1,000,000 for the uncredited Pepé Le Pew reference. You can make the check out to "Doctor Bastard, MD." Thanks.
inevality 12
Fail. XD
ArianS2 0
Kay I think you have a lot of haters .By the way I'm a Male.
ArianS2 0
That's weird I could if sworn I saw someone thinking I'm a female. Anyways what's wrong with me being 16? I'm prob taller than you, but boy am I glad I don't know you irl :) Or live anywhere where I am from.
Sirin_fml 47
Please keep the flirting confined to private messaging, people.
TooAsianMane 0
if the cops come warn a brother! ( Warner brothers, lol.
Alei7 0
I agree ArianS2. [Also, I
Fortuitous 0
*clears throat and begins to make a profound statement of great length with no sarcasm* That was the greatest comment I have ever read.
ArianS2 0
Would a sticker of a golden star make you feel "Special"? *Gives sticker and pats you head* Make more comments like that and you will be rewarded with more stars!
ArianS2 0
Oh yes! First time my comment got moderated. Are there any achievements to earn on FML? Cause would like to earn the "First time comment moderated" award. Thanks. I would like it as a bade beside my picture.
ArianS2 0
badge* no idea how to edit comments on iPhone.
ColdGold 6
This worked for me: Open up an umbrella. Get it under the umbrella. Take the umbrella outside. Release bird.
maphineRAWRS 10
leave it for abit.. try again later.. in the meantime you should name it? i have some suggestions: Muriel Gertrude gladice agatha cornelious beautrice Mildred prudence Winifred.
CloudEnvy 17
I vote Gladice.
BetsyLa 0
Winifred :)
Damn_God_It 0
Cornealius FTW
legitasaurusrex 0
those are stupid names. go with- wilbur hugo montague leppeliar phineas gene brinker grato