Today, I rushed to work after a night of drinking and partying, and put my hair up on my way in. People started worriedly asking what happened to my head, so I looked in the mirror. I had scratches and a welt on my forehead from hitting the wall during sex last night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
Today, I woke up extremely hung over on a friend's couch after a night of heavy drinking and partying. To my horror, I discovered that, in my drunken state, I'd allowed said friend's six-year-old daughter to trim my hair. I now have a bowl cut. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
You got your boo-boo from over-doing the snoo-snoo.
Emelka_fml 20
Fifty shades of ouch!
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Comments (14)
joeyl1990 28
What kind of sex were you having?
joeyl1990 28
I don't mean that in a perverted way I'm just curious cause I never had my face slammed into a wall during sex.
julfunky 29
I’m guessing she was arched — head tilted back. Either over the side of the bed or just a dramatic arching in bed. Severe thrusting slammed her too far.
julfunky 29
I’m guessing she was arched — head tilted back. Either over the side of the bed or just a dramatic arching in bed. Severe thrusting slammed her too far.
Charlie Given 28
It's called having all night wild pig sex.
RichardPencil 32
Hello, shittyemployee, the first step is Admitting You Have a Problem.
BurnInDemonFire 39
You got your boo-boo from over-doing the snoo-snoo.
Emelka_fml 20
Fifty shades of ouch!
Charlie Given 28
Now that's what I call some great sex😈😌
commandpriority 5
She sounds like fun!!
chessu 21
Not sure I agree with the YDIs.. I mean yeah I guess, she put herself in this position and going to work hungover etc. isn't the bestest of practices, she's probably young and allowed to have fun and despite all made it to work anyway. Good on you, girl!