Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML
Today, my husband and I hosted Easter dinner. Since I was in my own home, I breastfed without a cover. My sister-in-law stormed out in a rage, screaming that I was being obscene, and equated it to shooting heroin in front of her kids. Happy Easter indeed. FML
Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML
Today, I had an Easter Egg Hunt in my backyard for my kids. When they collected all the eggs, they opened them and to their dismay there was no candy inside. When I bought them, I thought they already came with candy. It’s been two hours and my kids won’t stop crying. FML
Today, during a family road trip, my mom decided to spring a surprise conversion on us. This included screaming bible verses, blasting crazy gospel music and sobbing that we needed to repent before we’re all condemned to hell for eternity. She did this for 4 hours straight. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML
Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML
Today, my mother was guilting my wife and I for freezing embryos as a delay tactic to deny her grandchildren. Fed up, I told her, "Why don't you throw in a 'You'll miss me when I'm dead' to finish this guilt trip?" Now, she's crying and my father wants to murder me. FML
Today, I came home to my mother, wife, sister, and certain family members cussing me out. My daughter and niece told them that I took them to visit and pray at The Church of Satan. Girls! It's The Church of Saint Anne! FML
Today, my kids are at the age where they no longer want to go to church, and if I take them anyway, they misbehave on purpose to embarrass me. I don’t even want to go, my wife is the religious one, but if I refuse to go she’ll see to it I get hell on earth daily. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Brenna19 5
I would have slapped her into eternity!
Ziggy122 15
Ugh. The amount of people that still think like a 16th century Puritan...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (133)
joe502 3
Well at least you now have the excuse to excommunicate her from the family.... For that you are lucky! And I wish I could get ride of my mother-in-law.... So just remember the glass is half full... She crazy bitch is out of your life.... =-)
whY402Jay 12
Could have found way to keep her inside during all this. And considering the fat cow comment, cheesecake and lemon bars would have been a good combo.
gravityworks 5
well she isnt wrong about it being a pagan tradition but she was wrong for making your kids cry :(
Omniprism 15
I would tell her she can't see the children till she makes it up to them.
Fishfanatic 7
She's correct that easter is pagan in origin, but so very very wrong about it being vile. The seasonal timing and many of the practices of nearly every christian festival, has been nicked from a pagan one, twisted and distorted, and been given a jesus mask.
anyoldnamewilldo 23
Regardless of it being pagan, there was no call for her yelling it at the kids and making them cry. They aren't even old enough to know what pagan is. All they understood was her yelling at them that they were doing something so heinous<eyeroll> to condemn them to hell. What a bitch. Time for the wife to step up and enforce boundaries with her mother.
effyolife23 9
"Today my heathen grandchildren participated in a pagan Easter egg hunt. What kind of daughter did I raise? FML!"
ZombieSazza 34
Paganism is from BC times, it seriously predates Christianity and we celebrate Ostara/Spring Equinox (Easter) as a time for fertility
ZombieSazza 34
*and new life. Nice to see that there's some educated idiots out there. FYL OP, it saddens me to hear there are still Pagan hates out there. :/ Chell1894, you're awesome.
lovelyrevenge21 14
I would have told her off like no ones business!!