Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML
Today, my husband and I hosted Easter dinner. Since I was in my own home, I breastfed without a cover. My sister-in-law stormed out in a rage, screaming that I was being obscene, and equated it to shooting heroin in front of her kids. Happy Easter indeed. FML
Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML
Today, I had an Easter Egg Hunt in my backyard for my kids. When they collected all the eggs, they opened them and to their dismay there was no candy inside. When I bought them, I thought they already came with candy. It’s been two hours and my kids won’t stop crying. FML
Today, during a family road trip, my mom decided to spring a surprise conversion on us. This included screaming bible verses, blasting crazy gospel music and sobbing that we needed to repent before we’re all condemned to hell for eternity. She did this for 4 hours straight. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML
Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML
Today, my mother was guilting my wife and I for freezing embryos as a delay tactic to deny her grandchildren. Fed up, I told her, "Why don't you throw in a 'You'll miss me when I'm dead' to finish this guilt trip?" Now, she's crying and my father wants to murder me. FML
Today, I came home to my mother, wife, sister, and certain family members cussing me out. My daughter and niece told them that I took them to visit and pray at The Church of Satan. Girls! It's The Church of Saint Anne! FML
Today, my kids are at the age where they no longer want to go to church, and if I take them anyway, they misbehave on purpose to embarrass me. I don’t even want to go, my wife is the religious one, but if I refuse to go she’ll see to it I get hell on earth daily. FML
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Top comments
Brenna19 5
I would have slapped her into eternity!
Ziggy122 15
Ugh. The amount of people that still think like a 16th century Puritan...
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Comments (133)
trillium13 3
And where was OP's spouse during all of this? I'm sure this isn't the first time something like this has happened. Maybe this person should be around the kids less, if they can't act decently. Not exactly Christ-like behavior IMO.
drewflav 17
Tell her to look up the real history behind Easter. Easter has been celebrated long before Christianity ever made use of it, though it was a celebration to the god Ishtar (pronounced the same as Easter), a fertility goddess (hence the egg being associated with the holiday). That'll throw her in for a loop!
drewflav 17
Lol
DntLookBack 29
She doesn't think it has to do with Christianity.. She called it a "vile Pagan ritual" So telling her that will probably just get her going more about how it is Pagan.
NeinKittenz 20
Hello cat brother, I hope you will be Nein one day.
drewflav 17
She's probably refering to the egg hunt, not Easter itself. Both are technically pagan in origin, though the latter was Christianized by factoring Jesus into it.
monnanon 14
hunting for eggs is a relatively new thing. pagans rolled painted eggs to capture the bad spirits in the land and ensure the ferility of the land but did not go looking for them. that aside there is nothing wrong with following the more pagan parts of the holiday if you are christian it doesnt detract from what the day means to christians its just a fun part for kids.
bReLiNg 18
Tell her to go suck a big fat egg.
fuckmylife518 15
Your mother-in-law's a bitch. She may be your husband's mother, but she has no right at all the scream at your little daughters. I would say screw your husband and tell him it's either his mother or you because you're not going to put your daughters through that again. Your first priority is to protect them, especially when they're little, from bad influences, and she is CLEARLY one of them. Good luck.
DntLookBack 29
OP is a man.. It is his wife's mom.
fuckmylife518 15
Either way, your first priority is always to your kids. I stay by what I said, just reversing gender roles (sorry about that...)
Zen_Mei 17
Grandma sounds like a nut job
Chazzzor 10
Some people use religion as an excuse to be bullies or jerks.
shieldthestral 5
I am pagan, and paganism is mostly the worship of nature, and it's beauty. I find her words to be very frustrating!
Sonfang 19
I agree, it's always frustrating when someone who doesn't know about the religion(s) insults them. I am pagan as well, but during college I did part of my internship volunteering at a church. There was a lady that I had to politely put up with for months as she bashed, insulted, and ranted about my religion. She had a story of when she owned a shop, she loved and was proud of that she "fought off Satan and his advances" by blasting Christian music around their shops. That she was on the decorating comity and would never accept any of the ideas from the wiccan woman, and that she celebrated when the pagan shop closed down. This crazy grandma needs to do some studying on Easter in the Christian religion. Egg hunts are usually innocent, and now just for fun.
EmberEyes 16
You know, I normally tolerate the Elderly's ignorance of modern society but this just takes the cake. How dare she scrutinize your young children over their beliefs--especially when they've probably only been exposed to two or three religions. UGHHH the nerve.
EggsinaBasket 9
I tolerate it as well. But sometimes its so bad I just can't handle it.
EmberEyes 16
Sometimes it's kinda funny. Today my grandfather said, "I don't understand all these white broads dating these ni****s." (blocked it for moderation purposes). It was just funny because of the language. He's so blunt and honest it can be funny.
Sonfang 19
Depending on Grandpas age and where he grew up it was probably appropriate during his youth to call Blacks the "n-word." And now it's just a part of who he is, he may not be trying to be racist. I've heard older black people use "reverse racism" just because it is what they were raised with.
EmberEyes 16
It's not being racist...being racist is making fun of them or disrespecting them. Now it is sort of disrespectful but I found it funny because my mom and I were talking about it the other day. Pardon me for not clarifying.
lilpup45 6
I've heard there are plenty of sink holes opening up;)
EggsinaBasket 9
She is right in the sense that it is a pagan holiday. Most " Christian" holidays are. Old Christians adopted the holidays to convert people of different religions to christianism. Although this does not give her the right to yell at the kids for something that has been a part of it for centuries
nina21194 12
Our entire calendar is Pagen as well as the religious days we celebrate.