Today, I was having sex with my wife, doggy-style. She then got mad at me for coming on her back. I didn’t have the balls to tell her that was drool. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML
Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML
Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML
Today, I was engaged in intercourse with my fiancée when her dog decided take a loud dump in front of the fan that was pointed at us. Needless to say, intercourse ended very abruptly. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
Today, during quite vigorous unprotected sex with my partner, I got a bit over-excited and on the pullout, my ejaculate shot from me, across my partner, and hit the dog who had decided to jump on the bed. My partner found it hilarious; I feel like I'm going to hell. FML
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said, "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You can keep that to yourself. Just apologize then blow your load in her face. It will confuse her about her first complaint.
RichardPencil 32
To be fair, dogs do drool a lot. You were just adding authenticity to the style.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
You can keep that to yourself. Just apologize then blow your load in her face. It will confuse her about her first complaint.
RichardPencil 32
To be fair, dogs do drool a lot. You were just adding authenticity to the style.