Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, like every morning, I washed my mouthguard with bar soap. Tonight, though, I realized I hadn’t rinsed as well as I should have, there's soap between my teeth. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, I realised my teeth are so stained that they look cleaner when I've not brushed them. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was throwing up. Turns out it wasn’t a dream and I woke up to puke all over the bed. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML
Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
I'm very sorry... But I just can't help but to laugh at this one, darling. Maybe you should brush your teeth more often when you're awake. It'll make you feel better.
omfg_creepers 8
Try sleeping on your stomach without suffocating or drowning in your spit.
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Comments (97)
YouSlutt 0
Gross
bubo_fml 11
Sigmund Freud said that when you dream of losing teeth, it's repressed guilt from excessive masturbation. Sounds like you need to get in touch with yourself!
scice03 8
Ha! I've done that! Gross.
akg98 13
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
HungryHipppo 0
Maybe you should brush your teeth before you go to bed and maybe you wont dream about it.
needsagf14 12
Idk what's worse, that or the fact that you dream about brushing your teeth...
chronick89 5
Try taking the hint and go to the dentist or something
hobojo69 23
Hehehe o my god that's pretty funny! FYL but seriously you got to admit its funny
GnarShreder13 0
u know teeth dreams have meaning behind them. like dreams about them falling out n shit
vrgsjsn24 2
Dreams with teeth mean death!!! Very scary.