Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, like every morning, I washed my mouthguard with bar soap. Tonight, though, I realized I hadn’t rinsed as well as I should have, there's soap between my teeth. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, I realised my teeth are so stained that they look cleaner when I've not brushed them. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was throwing up. Turns out it wasn’t a dream and I woke up to puke all over the bed. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML
Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
I'm very sorry... But I just can't help but to laugh at this one, darling. Maybe you should brush your teeth more often when you're awake. It'll make you feel better.
omfg_creepers 8
Try sleeping on your stomach without suffocating or drowning in your spit.
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Comments (97)
Clamcreepy 7
Well look on the bright side at least you don't have to wash your face in the morning since you like to get things done early. (and that user name is Grade A stuff OP)
yuzuhere 21
Good for you! You're brushing three times a day!
1x1y 12
Dreams about brushing your teeth have to do with self confidence. You should look it up.
SoultheWolf 19
That takes talent to spit on your face...
princess151617 4
I've done that before except I was pissed at someone and was spitting in there face and spit on my face instead. Lol
Daiyuki 5
Oh the irony. Good metaphor for karma too
spongebobby617 0
I keep having a dream Michael Jackson us at the foot of my bed in a hospital dress with a knife in hand!
Haha_no_123 11
That kind of dream would make me wake up with the sheets Soaked
Jannettecooks 1
They say when you dream about your teeth, you are under extreme amounts of stress.
crazybeauty95 2
That's kinda funny and I bet that a shrink could find a deep creepy psychological explanation for this :) try taking a sleeping pill before bed
crazyblackchick 0
Your body is giving you hints.
kaelynxboo 0
I love how it says wet dreams above...