Anonymous
New Zealand
Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Fail
Steele, United States
Not a night owl
Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom. It was of course quite dark, and unbeknownst to me, the door was closed. I walked into it. Then I tried to open it, missed the door knob, and walked into the door again. FML
something
Today, I was walking home from school and my stupid brother who comes earlier then me locked the storm door. I ended up trying every other door for 3 hours in below freezing temperature. I was numb everywhere. I rang the bell and my brother opened it. He was home the whole time. FML
makeyourselfathome
Richmond, Australia
Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML
vinniesuckmadack
United States
Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML
rhplb
Quezon City, Philippines
Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML
Anonymous
Stoney Creek, Canada
Today, I was woken up and kicked out of my friend's party at 3:00 in the morning. This wouldn't have been so bad if someone hadn't stolen my shoes. I had to walk for an hour in the rain, in my socks. FML
anonymous
Canada
Occam's razor
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
blackvogue
Canada
Classic
Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML
Anonymous
Eugene, United States
Sorry guys, please don't hurt me
Today, I tried to sneak a snack from the kitchen without waking anyone up. In my stealthy quest for a late night sandwich, I managed to knock over a stack of pots of pans and woke up the entire frat house. FML
Top comments
ceinaworus 0
so, I'm going for the most negative comment on FML. rate this as negative please : ) thanks everybody! but seriously, I don't want any positive rate shit going on.
j_cat187 20
with the steel toe, how you feel though, with my foot cramed up ur ass like a *****.
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Comments (65)
DatDappyDde 0
I bet you are ready for some more steel!
imlagginglol 0
YDI for being Magneto
volley4eva1698 0
ouch. painful!
khaya 9
Worst prostate exam ever. Especially in the dark.
DreaminOfMusic 0
why were both of you guys in the kitchen at 4:40 anyway?!?
livgasms 4
LOL at #29
CryMoreFMLs 15
His balls! They are not made of STEEL!!
Spewn 2
That wasn't your brother.
Spewn 2
31 What kind of weak arse boots you got?
nerdchic 5
40 - I work at 5 every morning.. maybe he was getting ready for work or something
Qeuar 0
Duke Nukem's balls of steel would have no problems dealing with this.
aquariusangel420 0
29 your avitar is ****** AWESOME!!! O sorry OP that suxs to next time bring a flashlight and some pepper spray next time and spray him in the eyes and kick him in the NUTS THAT'LL TEACH EM
littlemissFYL 5
not FYL, **** your life bro =[
thaney18 0
I don't get it.
maa_rico 4
osama is dead hoot hoot
whitesox365 0
ding dong! osamas dead! osamas dead! osamas dead! ding dong osama bin laden's dead! and good riddance
futtbuck101 1
F Osama's life
d_balu 0
lolz..!
clarkie_boi_8494 0
is your brother captain falcon by chance
xxlauruh 0
why is everyone assuming he got kicked in the balls?
Mpsteve13 7
pee in his mouth
DiamondBTroll 0
shut up..
Mpsteve13 7
**** off
Katie_the_Great 6
2. Man that's MrsBunny's line. lol
dgr8ing 0
your hot!!!
FFML_314 12
You're stupid!!!
snade 0
Haha
ceinaworus 0
so, I'm going for the most negative comment on FML. rate this as negative please : ) thanks everybody! but seriously, I don't want any positive rate shit going on.
pickles1994 18
lol I'm going for the sexiest pic in FML ;)
ikillhobbits 0
lol fail bro
jimboner69 6
im going for sexiest name on FML
illmatic2 16
Dang. I hope that all of you guys know that #92 did in fact want you to thumb his comment up. Just lettin' you know in case you didn't already.
TroII 0
I hope this does not become youtube with the douchebags always saying "thumbs up if you agree"
ceinaworus 0
haha, you guys, honestly. it was a mockery joke of dumb people. and for the record, I could give two ***** about a "positive" or "negative" comment. HOLY FORESKIN! MY COMMENT IS RATED POSITIVE! shit, someone made it negative. I'm going to kill my self by beating my face with my iPod.
oliveindamiddle 0
^ that was..... creative..
ceinaworus 0
thank you. I have the imagination of a wildebeest on cocaine and acid put in a blender and injected into the ileum section of the small intestine.
chickunkey 0
^ dope
chrstygrl06 10
Almost sounded like you were describing me.
onestarjv 3
yo ass got capped!
seekndestroy 3
no no, it was her toes, didn't you read the FML?
seekndestroy 3
oh, it actually doesn't say anything about toes. maybe i should have read the FML
SassiestLemon 2
Woulda sucked if OP had ingrown toenails and got hit on the toes.
littlemissFYL 5
Your ass is grass.
kriistalkhalifa 0
Lmao
ThatLooksSticky 16
...I don't get it.
balex_fml 0
OP got kicked with steel toe boots.
rscanlan313 0
no they were playing hid and go seal In the dark and he was wearing steel toe boots
SpeshulK 0
hide and go seal?
YtotsDI 0
ya you club a baby seal when you find them :)
spartanfan68 0
hahahaha lmao but it's actually when your found you must close an envelope
spartanfan68 0
ie there you are. damn now I have to seal three
wazupwolf 5
epic fail
reganera 0
I also didn't get it...most these fmls are written in a weird way that annoys me
j_cat187 20
with the steel toe, how you feel though, with my foot cramed up ur ass like a *****.
Garyy_fml 11
^ best poem ever
josh5634 0
or rap..
spartanfan68 0
r.a.p Retards Attempting Poetry
josh5634 0
^win
forkbrother13 0
as he walked through the night he gave his brother a fright now his asshole isnt tight - william shakesphere
RapeWhistle 0
Bitchin !
tsim_fml 0
97- h.i.p.h.o.p Highly Incredible People Healing Other's Poetry (putting it to a beat/music) H.A.T.E.R.S (such as yourself) Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success. I know my word play child. Dont ever go against the rap.
Angi95 3
Wow. You guys are really creative. No conozco como. Pero puedo hablo espanol.
Freeze_fml 17
Crap.*
Garyy_fml 11
I can so see (old) Eminem rapping that.
smhansen92 0
oh shit nigga!!
atomicbaboon 0
damn! we got some original doctors up in here! aka: dr. seuss.
Garyy_fml 11
Dr Dre! Bitch Please!
hahoon11 0
124 dont use english to spanish translators it screws it up, and it makes no sense. it should say "No se como, pero puedo hablar español"
Nitial 6
Cyanide and Happiness!!
gman90210 18
No it should say it in english
mrlawlor7777 26
No sé*.
dark_path 0
OP, I believe you got a night eating syndrome. I suggest you get professional help.
SteelCladAngel 0
I go to the kitchen at 4:40 am sometimes getting myself water, getting a bottle for my daughter...maybe op has diabetes and needs to eat every so often....
jangalianxi 6
Or maybe op woke up at 4:40 to get ready for an early morning work shift or something like that and simply was going to the kitchen for breakfast? A "syndrome" is quite an assumption on so little information.
atomicbaboon 0
or dark_path was making something we in the medical profession like to call a joke. there seems to be a surplus of people on this site that suffer from a poor sense of humor. I apologize to all of those this syndrome has affected, but there is no cure.
RyDawg918 0
cool
stagefight1 0
ouch... your brother needs to burn that shit
stagefight1 0
that was not meant to be on this, that was for a chat between a friend and I..... wrong box....
Meg1Surf2Blonde3 0
kick him in the balls!! lol lights??? if u lk my comments email me
mozeltov 7
don't expect any emails
MilanKing 0
WTF?
johnson94 5
are you trying too hard to be funny?
LaughterofCorn 4
Inbox: 0
bmsalinas 13
^ Win.
FallonFerSure 6
lmao
1989mustang50 0
wow desperate I see so you are the one with the van that says FREE CANDY!!!
sheagstaz 0
haha yeah right