Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, like every morning, I washed my mouthguard with bar soap. Tonight, though, I realized I hadn’t rinsed as well as I should have, there's soap between my teeth. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, I realised my teeth are so stained that they look cleaner when I've not brushed them. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was throwing up. Turns out it wasn’t a dream and I woke up to puke all over the bed. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML
Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Mirorbo 27
I'm very sorry... But I just can't help but to laugh at this one, darling. Maybe you should brush your teeth more often when you're awake. It'll make you feel better.
omfg_creepers 8
Try sleeping on your stomach without suffocating or drowning in your spit.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (97)
shawnxx 1
Over exaggeration
TrippingOnAcid 29
Our dreams are often influenced by our thoughts and actions prior to sleeping. If this is a recurring problem aim to brush your teeth at least sa hour before sleeping.
Xxkaylee12xX 0
ah,I think this is a sign that you need to brush your teeth more...
Greddy2000 1
Lol,I did that before.
derkster 6
:o
Sanch101 7
Look on the bright side. You could have been dreaming you were peeing...
mughni 10
Nature is trying to tell you sth OP!!
MzVentura 9
This has happened to me a couple times.
clr1088 0
I used to dream I was eating and I'd bite the person in bed with me. Then wake up with them hitting me.
lylotrezor 20
FYL, OP. But still, this is awesome. XD