Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Rubbing it in
Today, when I logged onto Facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me on my Facebook wall. 27 people liked it. FML
Well played
Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook account and changed our relationship status to single, just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML
Sussy
Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML
Not you
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
Top comments
catchyscreename 0
Oh. DAMN you totally walked into that one.
andyn 0
YDI for posting lyrics as your facebook status you ******* twat.
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Comments (233)
catchyscreename 0
Oh. DAMN you totally walked into that one.
genius_man16 1
No he didn't. Maybe if his ex would have communicated during sex she could have gotten an ******. I ******* hate how girls just expect mind-blowing sex without wanting to work for it. Lying on the bed like a dead fish isn't going to be something that always makes you have an ******.
Intoxicunt 6
Way to assume. For all you know, she gave him instructions, books, incentive, and everything else to help him give her an ****** and he just failed. That, or it may have been a case where she just used the opportunity to insult him, regardless of how truthful the insult was.
nickyzinks 0
Agreed. Wah wah wah my girlfriend dumped me and now it's time to be an emo twat for the whole of facebook to see. You might as well have just posted: "lyk plzz comment my status and leave commentsssssss saying how awsum i am so i kan feel better about my sad pathetic life" Oh but your girlfriend sounds awesome. Props to her for dumping your sorry ass.
DameGreyWulf 1
7, 13, and 69 all make valid points, in my opinion. He said it was a horrible break up - maybe he WAS trying to please her, but couldn't because she wouldn't communicate? Or maybe just in general he just couldn't get it, help or no help. Or, maybe she was being a bitch and was lying, a low-blow. Also, of course for whining on the Internet about it, that's a pretty twat thing to do, he deserves it for expecting sympathy. Too many people go "I'M A BAD PERSON" and expect people to say the opposite and cheer them up. Just say "I feel bad, cheer me up?" to some friends, jeez.
Plumppotato 3
shes a bitch. ok fine break up with him. but you dont have to be a bitch to him afterwards.
jadetothes 0
i like how an FML can cause so much debate about a man's ability to please his sexual partners haha why are you people interested in a strangers sex life, i bet the OPs reyt embarassed, the poor sod or is this how you guys get your jollies?? err.
metalfan333 0
#7 no joke!
dorworters 9
yeah, really. all they have to do is look good and they expect us to work hard, and get pissy when its not perfect
fenrisulfr 0
Not being able to satisfy a woman is surely one of the worts things ever for a man... you'll have to 'practice' more if you want to not let such things happen again...
MaramaBreaksFace 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for knowing Blue October lyrics in the first place.
Bashar_fml 0
a girl trolling, well thats a first :P
MaramaBreaksFace 0
I just hate Blue October :)
spamky 7
Agreed, YDI for listening to Blue October
BlazeZakuPhantom 0
This. YDI
runormal 0
It's called google, lol
cpatrick820 3
Saw Blue October in concert (D-Fest, i didn't go for them). After Seeing them, I have to say OP deserves it...
venom11065 0
ive never even heard of them
lotrgeek 10
You're a moron. Blue October is awesome.. Not to mention very helpful to anyone who suffers from major depressive episodes. So FYL for being stupid.
car8o8line 5
Since you can recognize it... U do too
Elovena 9
You should look them up :)
andyn 0
YDI for posting lyrics as your facebook status you ******* twat.
DarkSaul 20
U mad bro stop hating
goq0123 6
Obviously you do too.
kidsthesedays123 0
Eeeeeeeeeeemo. YDI.
Ace2600 3
**** you
jessicax0 0
wow thats cold.
fnool 0
Facebook? Song lyrics? This is barely acceptable if you're twelve.
FML858 0
Dear Douchebag, I love how you think 12 year olds are innocent an immature.We're nothing like that. Douchebag. sincerly, a twelve year old.
imapyro1996 4
Dear 12 year old When we all were 12 we had this crazy thing called respect and we weren't a bunch of little ***** with no manners
presque_fml 11
Lololol I can't wait for you to grow up and look back on all the things you said on the Internet. :)
NoFlippinWai 24
Correction "sincerely, a twleve year old with a justin bieber propic"
rkdstp1995 25
Dear 12 year old, this site contains content unsuitable for someone your age. Get off and go do your chores.
Sunako_fml 9
i don't think he expected that his ex would reply to that fb status. she stayed with you for 2 years and NOW she broke up with you because you couldn't pleasure her? that sounds like such bs. she's a bitch. be happy that she's your ex.
IreadFMLnaked 0
It never said she broke up with him cause of that. It could have been for different reasons. She's just adding insult to injury on Facebook. Which is pretty funny, if you ask me. :x
BLNovelist 0
but even if she's doing it to add insult to injury, he is still better off, because she has got to be a royal bitch to do that - assuming that he wasn't an asshole to her prior.
grimmelok 0
You kind of deserve it for being emo. I hate it when people post lyrics as statuses -_-
kattylizbeth 19
Just because you post song lyrics doesn't mean you're ******* emo. Being "emo" involves a little bit more than writing depressing Blue October lyrics on a social networking sight. I write song lyrics all the time... Wanna call me emo too, because I wrote a bit of Taylor Swift on there? Didn't think so.
angryseatroll 5
Aw. I'm sorry. Thats horrible! :( Your Ex is a bitch and you deserve better. And as for your friends. Well they can go f them selves. Who like that kind of status.