Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my hands away, she said, "I was only dating you to get my self-confidence up, I'm good now." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, on the advice of several friends, I tried to de-escalate a stupid argument with my fiancée by kissing her. She slapped me senseless and whooped my ass up and down the house until I escaped to the car. FML
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Today, my incredibly self-conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me, and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML
Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML
Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
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Top comments
docscientist 10
This is where you tell her you were only interested in her to get laid. Her self-confidence should dive-bomb and become a complete wreck, scattered upon a scorched landscape. Confidence isn't built from someone wanting to have sex with you, she's horribly misguided.
EwanSmith 2
used, but not even in the good way
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Comments (121)
EwanSmith 2
used, but not even in the good way
forthepainx3 0
how is there a good way of being used?
x_xSublime 0
11- You might get some action while the using is in process?
atownnnn 6
damn what a bitch!
FarSide 23
Not a jury in Texas that would have convicted you...
bhangu023 0
Tell her u only dated her because u thought she was easy;)
emjayprice 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
at least she's honest and didn't make a scene.
docscientist 10
Except that she lied an manipulated for x number of days...
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Excellent point 4 if that happen to me I'd prob be like bitch *back hand* and leave
loveanthony645 5
^Then you'll be yelling at the cops for taking you away.
thatssomeBS 9
No no no 45, he said he would backhand her, which is purely correction. It isn't abuse until the open palm or fist is used. (Ps: If you think this is my actual beliefs, you need to grow up, get over yourself, and gain a friggin sense of humor. Thank you.)
ambamm135 7
2 I notice you say some thoughtless things on here quite often. So from now on either: A) don't comment Or B) THINK before you post
icantfindwaldo 0
Your ugly and annoying. Go away
emjayprice 0
sorry for trying to make sure all of these socially inept fourteen year olds who smoke weed and "get laid" understand the English language with some simple wording. maybe you should leave others alone and get your hand out of your ass before someone shoves a spiked baseball bat up there for being a complete douche.
asoptavlo14 6
Yeah because all 14 year olds smoke weed and have sex. And you're also right, no 14 year olds have a social life, you just know everything don't you?
Drummer389000 0
Wow someone's bitter at the world. She could've, you know maybe... I don't know... TOLD HIM before he got more involved with her. You're an idiot for thinking that that's okay. That's a bitch move and you know it.
wagonbacker9 8
Women like her and you... Give them all a bad name
LexSpades 4
If that's your first reaction then your a cun*t
LexSpades 4
How is what your saying right now relevant to your original comment or even to the subject? If you get hit by a bus I'll be sure to make sure the news knows to not report it as a loss but a gain for humanity, that you can no longer reproduce.
danny128 4
Has anyone ever told you, your ******* crazy??
Blueglasscup 18
So... Get her self confidence low again! In all seriousness, you're better off without her anyway.
boofgall 16
Agreed. That ***** isn't the type to bring home, anyway.
Drummer389000 0
That'll make her feel used back. Then she might feel slightly worse for using you.
docscientist 10
This is where you tell her you were only interested in her to get laid. Her self-confidence should dive-bomb and become a complete wreck, scattered upon a scorched landscape. Confidence isn't built from someone wanting to have sex with you, she's horribly misguided.
FYLDeep 26
which is why he should say, "I was only dating you to get my dick up, I'll be good in 20 minutes." and knock her back down a peg or two.
FurryRocks 10
FYL Deep where do you get those pictures
iamyourgod 3
That looks like he just used a cartoon turkey picture and a in flames picture and put them together in Photoshop or paint.
FYLDeep 26
Step 1) Steal assets from various sources Step 2) Photoshop them together Step 3) ???? Step 4) Profit
downtime 13
I'd have gone with "I was only with you to convince myself I wasn't gay. I want men more than ever now..." then have sex with her brother...or...is that just crossing a line...
Cali_Girl_Jess 3
Confidence comes from within:) Not by the amount of guys that want to have sex with you. Dumb girl!
IndieCowboy 15
Nah, it's built up pure and shallowly based on how many people want you in bed...
5181997 6
I must agree completely!(:
Humanspider 18
I feel sorry for you man. That girl is simply a bitch!
MrXerxes5 6
Tell her you pitied her anyway. Get a hotter girl now. :D 'Cause if she could use you to boost her self esteem, you must not be too bad in the looks department.
tweetypie 18
I pity the fool that dates this chick after op.
forthepainx3 0
Don't worry about it, she's just a bitch. There's other people out there OP.
SookyTurner 4
Ouch! Sucks for you dude
godlike1 5
You should have said: I was dating you because I noticed you couldn't get any boyfriend, and now I know why. Then proceeded to dump her.