Mr 29 years-old
Today, my sister got caught cheating on her boyfriend. She was cheating on him with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML
Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML
Today, after I sent around 300 entries to a competition hosted by a deodorant company where the main prize is a trip to Hawaii, spending around 5 hours sending the entries, I won a deodorant. FML
Today, after pouring my heart out to my girlfriend of four years through a speech that took me three weeks to write, and then proposing, she responded, "Eh, why not." FML
Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML
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