Today, while at a rest stop, I heard a woman in the stall next to me answer her phone and say to the other person, "Oh nothing just pooping and shit." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, my friend and I were having a conversation in the ladies’ room. Suddenly, we hear banging from one of the stalls and, “Can you talk somewhere else? Some of us are trying to poop.” FML
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML
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Top comments
JuliaKay14 33
How is this an FML?
Lobby_Bee 18
Technically correct, the best kind of correct.
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Comments (15)
JuliaKay14 33
How is this an FML?
Matt Kesler 16
took the words right out of my mouth
RichardPencil 32
It’s actually painful to have to listen to people being redundant and repetitive and redundant.
Lalala579121 28
You should have just stopped after the repetitive, Richard. That extra redundant is just trying too hard.
Lobby_Bee 18
Technically correct, the best kind of correct.
Georgian_fml 15
wow thats terrible, hope you are doing ok, hope you dont get PTSD
RichardPencil 32
That’s redundant
ViviMage 40
Is there a difference?
Mile Prodanovski 8
I always do it and so does my best friend we like to play battle *****
tonyfan00 38
Probably her way of saying "leave me alone and I'll call back later".
AmbrosiaFan 19
You are in a rest room! Wtf do you expect.?
DanielleinDC 34
I feel sorrier for the person she's talking to. It's just rude to answer your phone when you're on the throne.
GhostFox 34
Some friendships have absolutely no boundaries. Hell, some people will be in the bathroom talking to their friend who's using the toilet. Even at home.