Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working as a ticket inspector on a train. A suspiciously-acting thirty something guy got on board with two huge bags. Worried, I kept an eye on him. I wasn't disappointed when he got 5 furry toys out of his bags and started to have a conversation with them. FML
Today, my cat thought it would be a GREAT idea to sleep in my bag. I only found out when I was driving to work. He isn’t allowed outside. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, the man sitting next to me on the train looked like he was about to be sick. I quickly handed him the nearest bag I could find, a bag full of my lunch for that day. Safe to say he held nothing back. FML
Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML
Today, I was on a flight and one of my friends was sitting next to this woman who happened to be sleeping with her mouth wide open. My friend decided to take a picture. While I was editing it, a man sitting behind us said "If you want to take a picture of my girlfriend, wait until she's awake". FML
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Top comments
DrownedMyFish 18
How did he get on the train with a dead cat?
darlingdollie 24
So what did you do? And I feel bad for the poor cat This needs a follow up
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Comments (98)
TheCanucklehead 22
Why your bag?
a_wiener_d0g 15
Because she was sleeping would be my guess
ComoEsJuan 24
Why not Zoidberg?
ian3866 12
1 - because trying to shove the cat in the OP's mouth most definitely would've woken them up
euphoricness 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yeah I'm sure that man's pussy would've definitely woken OP up from being all stinky!
adhdwizard 13
Anyone else laugh as hard as I did ? People sure are weird sometimes.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Would anywhere else have made it better?
joseph19921992 10
I would have given it to a Chinese restaurant. At least they'll put it to good use.
strike2867 13
Maybe the OP sleeps with their mouth closed.
friedpwnadge 25
#25 asks some very good questions.
ibanghellokitty 8
To hide the evidence #1! It was the perfect time and perfect place to put the dead body!
DrownedMyFish 18
How did he get on the train with a dead cat?
cakefete2 31
This topic with that username is morbidly amusing.
RedPillSucks 33
Most places don't check what you're carrying.
bfsd42 20
#2, he bought a ticket and walked onto the train. Last time I checked, there is no NSA at train stations.
kenyrabit 25
Who said he brought it dead?
Sansa_fml 38
And why did he get on the train with a dead cat, and why was he trying to get rid of the cat?
darlingdollie 24
So what did you do? And I feel bad for the poor cat This needs a follow up
DrownedMyFish 18
I agree, this needs a follow up. This FML has me completely purrplexed.
thats_savannah 10
It's a sign. Haha.
iOceanus 18
Of...?
zandalee 20
A catastrophe is about to happen of course!
jw833055 13
I have no response to this.
CaiDog 20
So you decided to respond?
HowieDoIt 21
6, read your profile pic.
sexpectations 15
if you don't have anything to say, then don't say anything at all ...wait that's not it
CurlyQute 17
1. Why was he carrying around a dead cat? 2. How did he get it on the train 3. Why was he trying to hide it with you
Axel5238 29
The cat was going to turn into a zombie? He dug it up from the pet cemetery?
PenguinBitch 44
4)????? 5)Profit!!
DeeDeeJay 15
Why? Just... why?
lux0rd 18
According to your name the strange man may have been successful.
iOceanus 18
According to your picture, you deserve a hand shake.
dejavudejavu 2
Don't let the cat out of the bag
sweetprettykitty 10
What the **** is wrong with people?