Today, the jackoffs at my new job kept making jokes about my prosthetic leg. When I finally lost my shit and told one of them to back off, he said "Woah there, Mr Pistorius!" then said he'll avoid using the restroom now in case I decide to shoot him through the door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML
Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML
Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the backrest came apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to, "Stop fucking about." I thought this only happened in movies. FML
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML
Today, on my building site, I asked one of the guys to pass me a screwdriver. He threw it so hard that when I caught it, it stabbed into the meat of my finger and came clean out the other side. Now all the guys keep joking I got royally screwed. The jokes are worse than the pain. FML
Today, I visited a friend at work with a couple of other friends. We like to play pranks, so we went to his register and started loudly discussing our masturbation habits as a joke. Some bitch complained, and his boss fired him and kicked us all out. FML
Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML
Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML
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Top comments
FlamingJazkinz 15
Take it off and smack them.
mattzawesome 28
That's unbelievable, using a tragedy against someone and conflating them with a crime.
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Comments (119)
FlamingJazkinz 15
Take it off and smack them.
1dvs_bstd 41
While that would be ultimately satisfying, I'm sure he's the one who might end up possibly out of job or in jail. He should just report it or something.
strike2867 13
Doesn't seem like that would have a lot of support?
danthehuman 29
I bet those jokes were lame anyway..
AnOriginalName 19
They didn't have a leg to stand on.
Zappaz 32
*slow clap from the back of the room*
SneezyBear 27
I think OP just needs to stand up for himself more.
scarlett3diaz 24
What asshopes, I'm sorry OP
slingerslasher 24
I also hope for an ass.
scarlett3diaz 24
Lol my bad, spell check
1jordan1 11
They are obviously immature morons. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. just focus on work and doing a good job and eventually you can rise above them professionally and they'll be scared to even look at your leg.
mattzawesome 28
That's unbelievable, using a tragedy against someone and conflating them with a crime.
slingerslasher 24
what's really unbelievable is that they feel okay saying it to OP's face. OP's leg may not be made of flesh but those coworkers are the ones who have lost touch with humanity
theswanlake 13
wow! talking about respect....
MakeTodayADTR 20
You must've been hopping mad.
thejonac 21
you're just being rude here
Gilo_fml 2
bwahahahaha, you killed it
MakeTodayADTR 20
I feel like people are taking my comment too seriously. I mean op isn't going to post on here and not have a sense of humour. If I were in op's position I'd be glad I didn't have to do the hokey pokey.
MRSwick2525 23
#7 I don't even know what to say about your absolutely ridiculous comments. Ever stop to think what happened to OP to have lost their leg? Maybe they were in the service protecting your country, maybe the they were in a horrific accident. Whatever the case may be I think it is horrible that you are just as bad as this co-worker of theirs. You have no idea if OP will come on and see the comments made either. Have some respect. Karma has a way of coming around to you brother!!!
Ms_ValS 27
#7 You're just like the idiots he works with.
MakeTodayADTR 20
#46 #71 Chill. Reactions are way too easy to get. It was a lame pun, get over it.
Fairyjoshy 13
I never understood that. Someone pokes a hornet's nest, gets stung, and the hornets are to blame? Backwards logic to me.
Syruphs 17
@46 using that same logic you're right, you never know how OP lost their leg. could be serving in Iraq, could've been lost by being a good Samaritan, but likewise it could've been lost while in a robbery where he was the perpetrator or while doing some malicious activity. there's not enough information to determine how his leg was lost. i personally dont care about jokes as they are what theyre called, jokes but when you try to change the perspective to a positive one with positive assumption, it can also turn into a negative perspective, because of possible negative assumptions which is what I'm defending at this moment. TL;DR the way he lost his leg does not matter and wouldn't/shouldn't affect the outcome of people's perspectives. I understand your frustration towards #7s comments but it is FML, just walk it off
deathshead 19
he posted this situation on the internet do you people critisizing #7 really epect people not to make astupid jokes on the internet. and besides plenty of other jokes about the fake leg have gotten a ton of thumbs up.
SeragHeiba 11
That is really just horrible >;( I'm sorry OP but maybe you should tell your employer, because you deserve much better :)
MrUnlucky246 9
Bro that really sucks
mattzawesome 28
Good original thought out comment. FML's typically suck, that's why there is a button for that.
MzZombicidal 36
Good original thought our reply, #18. Some comments typically suck, that's why there is a button for that.
deathshead 19
says the person thats doing the exact same thing...
trellz17 19
Stick it up their asses