Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML
Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
Today, I found out my boss likes to shit talk about me when I'm not around. The best part is that I don't know what I've done to piss him off. FML
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Top comments
Enslaved 38
All three of you were taking a shit at the same time? Everyone must have eaten at Taco Bell!
Serisent 26
If you were really talking shit about your boss at work, you're lucky all he did was answer sarcastically. I would have fired you just for being dumb enough to do that where you could be overheard.
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Comments (94)
staychill 16
That's a pretty shitty situation!
CareFace 16
Overused poo pun? That's a paddlin'.
staychill 16
Someone had to do it.
lilhellian 27
*bang* Someone had to murder him for it to...
MrBrightside21 20
Nobody has to do anything. I didn't have to comment, but I did to prevent murder. I should fight crime. Over the internet, of course.
pkom96 5
Though your comment is very puny it is used too often in restroom-related FML's.
Axipiter 24
Heh heh. Time for puny comment to get pumped up.
randii_17 11
*punny
AKGirlinSD 20
1, another poster just got attacked yesterday or the day before about making a shit-pun comment. I guess we need more original comments.
madegascar1 2
Lol that's the only thing that made me laugh about this whole story
Kkkiana 7
That's shitty.
sofitina 20
Seriously? SERIOUSLY?
420Zombie 17
I didn't think it could be worse than that first comment... however 2 has proven me wrong
Serisent 26
If you were really talking shit about your boss at work, you're lucky all he did was answer sarcastically. I would have fired you just for being dumb enough to do that where you could be overheard.
capslockisgood 19
You, sir, are a dick. Why fire someone for grunting in a bathroom after someone insults you?
Serisent 26
Actually, it's ma'am if we're going to be formal. And I wouldn't fire somebody for grunting, I'd fire him for agreeing with the insult. I'd also fire the idiot doing the insulting. There's such a thing as professionalism, especially in the office where anybody might overhear.
hellryu 20
Unless you're a janitor, you could hardly call a bathroom an office.
doumtabarnack 12
I agree! OP was much too careless!
doodlecloud 27
I think it depends on whether he actually agreed, said something dismissive like 'yeah, sure, whatever' or literally just grunted. Imo, you should get in trouble for the first (though I think getting fired is a bit extreme unless there have been other previous issues) but not for the last two.
Palirose 22
I do believe you can not fire someone because your feelings got hurt.
VannahJane 17
Que the 'shitty situation' comments
reallytho3 11
Too late lol
TheGodDamnJoker 9
I was waiting for someone to post a comment, along the lines off "here come the shitty situation comments". That's almost as overused as the actual phrase your referring to.
Zebediabolical 45
Cue... Or Queue. Never Que.
TheNewGuy03 29
Que?
laden_swallow09 35
¿Que?
kevsandy303 12
¿Qué pasa?
Enslaved 38
All three of you were taking a shit at the same time? Everyone must have eaten at Taco Bell!
outoftown 27
Or everyone was working at Taco Bell.
ms_YoungMula 8
Or Ikea, that horse meat doesn't agree with anyone
allard 14
I'm from Australia, and Ikea is a furniture store.
emilyjgraham 34
82, it's a furniture store in the UK also it's just they found horse meat in the cafe. :)
little_one 20
I'm at the Pizza Hut! I'm at the Taco Bell! I'm at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell!
dav3800 7
Wait, what? I eat horses when I go to IKEA? Please be a hoax.
lil_ham1644 29
What, 91?
dontpanic_fml 32
Don't agree with bad remarks about your boss within the walls of your office...no matter what the situation...ever
HeartOfLead 24
I agree and with that shit talk, I wonder which of their holes had the most pungent smell.
lifes_surprises 11
Thats funny. At least he didn't find the need ti fire you. Probably already knew what everyone thought of him. Most do.
TeamKelly 10
And if not, he definitely knows now!
kat33_fml 7
If your name was never mentioned that's when you run out of there and pretend you were working the whole time.
HeartOfLead 24
But is wiping included in this running out of there? I mean, it takes bravery to pull no wiper.
DREsWay 3
I agree with #9
TeamKelly 10
50, There's a button for that.
node_fml 5
#58 there's a button for that
phatdaddy62 23
But smell would tell!
lil_ham1644 29
Washing hands also takes time
Alexis2742 31
I had a feeling everyone was going to talk about how "shitty" this situation is
Tdrizzzzzly 19
No shit??
hannaaaahr 33
everyone already did, everyone got tumbed down for doing so, so there was absolutely no need for you to point that one out, thank you very much.
allard 14
No 72, thank you.
Zeldafreak101 3
this seems like a shi*gets shot*
HeartOfLead 24
Well, my job here is done... *blows smoke off his barrel*
botanistjessica 24
That's what she said.