Today, the jackoffs at my new job kept making jokes about my prosthetic leg. When I finally lost my shit and told one of them to back off, he said "Woah there, Mr Pistorius!" then said he'll avoid using the restroom now in case I decide to shoot him through the door. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML
Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML
Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the backrest came apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to, "Stop fucking about." I thought this only happened in movies. FML
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML
Today, on my building site, I asked one of the guys to pass me a screwdriver. He threw it so hard that when I caught it, it stabbed into the meat of my finger and came clean out the other side. Now all the guys keep joking I got royally screwed. The jokes are worse than the pain. FML
Today, I visited a friend at work with a couple of other friends. We like to play pranks, so we went to his register and started loudly discussing our masturbation habits as a joke. Some bitch complained, and his boss fired him and kicked us all out. FML
Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML
Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML
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Top comments
FlamingJazkinz 15
Take it off and smack them.
mattzawesome 28
That's unbelievable, using a tragedy against someone and conflating them with a crime.
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Comments (119)
leogachi 15
I would report them to HR. They could really use sensitivity training.
ChadHelton 8
or a good firing for harassment
Hairymoney75 8
Just walk it off, OP.
ChromaScarlet 12
I'm sorry to hear that they treated you this way OP. I know a really great person who has prosthetic on both of his legs, that is the most amazing person in the world. These guys will get what is coming too them, and hopefully things will get better. Not everyone in the world are like that.
Murilirum 23
You should start making stupid jokes or trying to catch them off guard with statements and then follow up with 'nah I'm just pulling your leg' and make that your new person subconscious slogan.
messymessiah 11
Tell HR, or someone. They have no right to make you uncomfortable like that
rebeccacmlc 22
That's disgusting and disrespectful, whether or not you're sensitive about the subject, especially in what is supposed to be a professional environment ...
british_bad_luck 14
Calmly take it off and start clubbing them. We'll all understand
JCWolfGirl 14
If they are your co-workers, you can file a harassment complaint against them to your boss/through your company. I am sorry that you are having to deal with this OP!
cek727 16
2 letters... H. R.
worldclassrager 41
Can't you do something about them? That's unexceptional...jackoffs for sure
leogachi 15
@24 Unacceptable?
worldclassrager 41
Oops...thanks 29