Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

Grossed out

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

Bad timing

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

Today, I was planning to ask a guy at school out since I had mustered up the confidence to finally tell him how I really felt. I ended up puking on him. FML

Pleased to meet you

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

Don't do this at work

Today, I jokingly went over to a an attractive female co-worker and said, "You look like you need a hug". She told me she wasn't feeling well and didn't want to be touched. No more than 30 seconds after our encounter, she ran to give one of our more attractive male co-workers a hug. FML

Best time

Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML