Today, I flicked the bean so hard I fainted. I was in the shower and ended up coming to a few seconds later. I’m now too traumatized to use my vibrator. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML
Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML
Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML
Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all went to hell; I slipped and fell, bringing down with me the curtain and grooming products, and putting my back out. There goes my sex life. FML
Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML
Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and steamy in the shower, until I slipped and fell backwards into the shower curtain, which caused me to hit the back of my head on the toilet seat, and the bar of the shower curtain to land on my throat. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
You…uh, might want to get checked out by a doctor.
Thaylok 17
No man stands a chance to pass that goal now.
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
If you ended up coming, why do you need the vibrator?
poopface82 25
You…uh, might want to get checked out by a doctor.
Thaylok 17
No man stands a chance to pass that goal now.
tiptoppc 21
Beg to differ. Headboards are a thing and many a people have had concussions due to them. Maybe not the same thing, but same problem
Bogrbon 27
Simple answer: sit or lie down next time. No risk of hurting yourself and also, lower blood pressure for a few seconds will be less of a chance to pass out because your head is closer to your heart in elevation.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Marry me?