Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes, "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it this much." FML
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML
Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML
Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML
Today, at my job in a chemists, I had a customer ask me which acne cream I would recommend. I picked up the brand I use and told her that I've been using it for a year now. After pausing to stare at my face for a second, she thanked me and picked up the competing brand instead. FML
Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
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Top comments
cookies61889 15
None of their business
Buttsexpirate 9
"No it's for that loose mouth of yours sir."
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Comments (82)
bubo_fml 11
Hold on Brotha...U gettin' stretched OUT?!?!
leodeken 0
/ignore
Time2party6780 6
PEOPLE! If you're going to comment, at least use proper grammar and spelling. I grow tired of reading comments like, ' "Yo fo real? Das messd up! Guys wit srtetch marks is a turn off. Ijs." ' Yes, and I'm just saying please stop with foolish abbreviations, improper spelling, punctuation issues, grammar that my 4-year-old brother uses, and stupid comment. Don't waste my time, 'cause I didn't waste yours. For future reference, please re-read Sentence #4. :)
awapbamboo 6
Time2Party6780, in reference to your hateful comment on the way that people talk online, I would like to say this: *"PEOPLE!" is a fragment. *The apostrophes should be placed on the inside of the quotation marks. In any case, the apostrophes should not have been there in the first place because you were not quoting someone. You were making an example. *"comment" should be pluralized. *The "Yes, and" is not necessary and does not make sense. You are not confirming anything. *You wasted my time. Please, if you're going to try to act like an English professor on a casual website, at least know what you're talking about. :) kthxbai
missbadluk 0
Ummm who the **** asks that??? I would have put that clerk in their place for asking such a personal question.
smexehXredhead0 0
How rude! Tell her to get her nose out of your business.
kkmwong 11
As if you've never lied before.
ptd02882 2
Public service announcement: No substance has been empirically shown to reduce the quantity or quality of stretch marks.
gorzio666 0
thats sucks so hard
maggiewalters 17
I wish you could have said Its none of your business.... stupid clerk.
shazza26 1
Am I sexy?