Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML
Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML
Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML
Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
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Top comments
misspandamonium 27
Well, look on the bright side; your son has excellent eloquence. Most six-year-olds can't pronounce vasectomy.
Welshite 40
Some advertisements and commercials have gotten ridiculous nowadays.I remember sitting with my parents when ads for erectile dysfunction and a healthy sex life came on. It was a silent, awkward 45 seconds every time.
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Comments (73)
GhostChickens 17
Come on, the Aldi adverts are great! My personal favourite being "I don't like tea, I like gin." Lighten up, they're more creative than the other ads on TV. Plus "vasectomy" isn't a bad word. At least he's not throwing swear words around. If people give you dirty looks, ignore them. It's none of their business and they should understand that sometimes kids pick up words. Or you could look them in the eye and say, "four syllables. Impressive, huh?" Let them think your kid is a medical genius.
peggersmum 14
I had to try and explain to my six year old daughter what vasectomy means following this ad! Ended up telling her it stops daddy from planting a seed that grows into a baby in a mummies tummy.....
Omniprism 15
I think that's funny. People should know that children pick up funny phrases.
GRgoldfish 19
oh this isn't that bad. when my sister was that age she would go up to strangers (men) and say 'you have a penis and I have ******'. she grew out of it and so will your son. best of luck op
KatjaM 15
I'm on an iPhone and I can see the user name. Maybe it's because I'm on the old FML app? :S
ratorr2 23
You're the parent! If you don't like it then tell him to knock it off.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
And...you aren't explaining to him how this isn't appropriate because...? See, too many parents like this come onto FML and whine about things their kids are saying/doing, but they do nothing to rectify the situation. OP, tell your son he shouldn't be saying that to anyone, and if he persists, punish him. God, I don't even have kids and I'd be a better parent than half the ones I see.
lysx84 24
I think the phrase "I don't even have kids" voids any right you think you have to judge or advise on anyone else's parenting skills.
Shade1982 21
@64: I can tell you don't have kids... If you expect a 6-year-old to listen to you like you are talking about, you are going to have a very hard time when you get your first id :p.
klimpomppp 9
Im so sad that i actually got exited because I've seen that ad
NELSON1 6
Aldi advert :)
Madness49 8
Haha, isn't that the Aldi one? Where they compare the nappies :D