Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML
Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at me. Now it even hurts to pee or put my trousers on. FML
Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML
Today, I was naked and the wife tried to flick my bum with a wet towel. Unfortunately I bent over at the wrong moment and the towel cracked right against the underside of my dangling penis. The whole underside is bruised, it hurts to pee, and God help me tomorrow if I get morning wood. FML
Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML
Today, after years of impotence, I woke up with a raging boner. I was so happy until I remembered my wife divorced me last year because of my impotence. This depressed me so much that I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to masturbate, and the boner went bye bye, never to return. FML
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I took off my socks after I got home from the gym. Later, I found my fiance sniffing them, with an enormous boner in his pants. Ew. Ewwww. FML
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Top comments
Sathane 21
Found the Vegan.
gratunka 11
it could be environmental. nothing to do with you. take your wife to the great outdoors for some nature rumbling/tumbling.
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Comments (106)
islandreamzzz 2
your wife lost her fire
sierra_ky 19
maybe you're gay?
Gwynoak 10
Gay for grass?
Gwynoak 10
Get a golf course, that way you have holes in the grass, for those special moments.
OzzyWannabee 10
Take me down to the paradise city where the girls are green and the grass is pretty !
koijj 14
GRASS FETISH INBOUND.
Jerepasaurus 12
I think I read that the smell of fresh cut grass can actually arouse people. It's pretty normal, and actually pretty healthy. Maybe next time, go camping! Or have sex in the backyard. Or, bring some cuttings into the bedroom, if you feel too lazy for a trip. lol Happy gardening!
TheSneakyNugget 15
I guess your just attracted to dat grass (;
istheaar_on 6
What time were you having sex with your wife? if it was at night, then have sex with her earlier in the day. adjust your schedule to your body OP! good luck
lilyruth 1
Delayed reaction