Today, after years of impotence, I woke up with a raging boner. I was so happy until I remembered my wife divorced me last year because of my impotence. This depressed me so much that I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to masturbate, and the boner went bye bye, never to return. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband woke up with the first boner he’s had in almost 6 years. He yelled for me to join him so we could have sex again like the old days, but by the time I was finished on the toilet and raced to get to him with my pants still round my ankles, he'd gone soft. We’re only in our 30s. FML
Today, I have erectile dysfunction but have also recently gotten a girlfriend. She is very understanding but I decided to try Viagra to get things going. I had the rare reaction of a boner lasting hours that put me in hospital. I can’t win, it’s either no boner at all or a boner that tries to kill itself. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
Today, I woke up with a raging hard on. My wife, who was also awake, felt it when I pressed against her. She said, "No thank you," got up, and walked away. FML
Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML
Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML
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Top comments
geerod 16
There are many remedies starting with pills, injectables, medicine, therapy and lastly an implant. check out all your options!
varren 3
I know the feeling being divorced… confused between anger, sadness, guilt (regardless of the fault), annoyed.. too many emotions.. get out and do anything that gets u distractions.. I dated enough, had enough sex, did drugs, went to cheap massage parlors.. but I think what worked is what always made me happy.. some good work.. got out .. got remarried and happy with a boner 😂😂
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Comments (2)
geerod 16
There are many remedies starting with pills, injectables, medicine, therapy and lastly an implant. check out all your options!
varren 3
I know the feeling being divorced… confused between anger, sadness, guilt (regardless of the fault), annoyed.. too many emotions.. get out and do anything that gets u distractions.. I dated enough, had enough sex, did drugs, went to cheap massage parlors.. but I think what worked is what always made me happy.. some good work.. got out .. got remarried and happy with a boner 😂😂