Today, rather than buying one pork chop big enough for myself, I bought two smaller chops just so the cashier wouldn't think I was eating by myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ordered two double cheeseburgers from McDonald's and asked for one of them without pickles so they would think I was ordering for two people. Both burgers were for me. FML
Today, I ordered takeout. When I looked in the bag, I saw they'd included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, then estimated that there must be at least four people eating such a large meal. I was eating alone. FML
Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML
Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML
Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
Today, I bought some mandarins so that there would be at least one healthy thing in my shopping basket, and I wouldn’t feel like such a fat lard at the checkout. FML
Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML
Today, while shopping, I told my wife I'd love some pork chops for dinner. Someone nearby muttered, "That's practically cannibalism, ya fat pig." My wife immediately had a "coughing attack" that sounded suspiciously like it was covering up laughter. FML
Today, while on break from work, I went to the cafeteria and bought cheese cubes. One of my coworkers, who is usually very pleasant, asked to try some and I said yes. She ate all the cheddar cubes in the bowl, which are the only ones I like. I wasted $3 for someone else to eat my food. FML
Today, I ordered food for delivery. I actually made it sound as if there were other people at home so I had an excuse for ordering so much. I don't think they bought it. FML
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Top comments
LittleSushi_fml 13
Does it matter what the cashier thinks?
Welshite 40
Who cares what other people think? I was a cashier once, long ago. The cashier probably didn't care or notice either.
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Comments (53)
Garnetshaddow 30
Cashiers rarely look at people's groceries unless they're leaking or have an obnoxious promotion running on them. You did that to yourself. Besides, if it's THAT important, why not get two normal pork chops and have pork two nights? Or freeze one? YDI.
samimarie199 22
Honestly as a cashier if people buy one big thing of meat I usually assume their gonna cut it in half for someone else. Not gonna lie lol
rdenkewicz 11
Who cares what the cashier thinks... He's a cashier!
SuperMew 22
The cashier I had the other day has a masters degree. So, just because someone works in retail does not mean they have given up on life. They're people.
LowExpectations 30
Don't worry OP, cashiers are usually miles away unless you ask them a question. No need to concern yourself with their opinions.
sanecatlady 13
I'm so sick of this "Noah's Ark Syndrome" so many people have. I don't care if anyone thinks I'm eating alone, I'm alone but not lonely. I'm only really lonely when I'm surrounded by people. On the other hand, I am kind of embarrassed to buy antacids and stuff. I worry that the cashier will say something like "Peptol-Bismol? What's the matter, ya got the squirts or something?" Lol.
Dthsapprntc 23
If that happens just look at the offending cashier, smile, wink and say; "no, but you are about to" and then walk away.
gladlily 16
I worked with a guy once who was so socially inept that he would have done exactly that. He asked someone purchasing a book on dealing with grief, "So who died?". Trying to explain to him why that was inappropriate was like talking to a brick wall. Maybe OP was afraid of him being her cashier :P
worldclassrager 41
Who cares? I go to restaurants a ton with out anyone else...and you could say that you are going to split the big one or cook half and freeze the other half...
driinkbleach 18
There's nothing wrong with doing things alone, in fact its kinda sad if you have to have someone with you at all times to enjoy yourself. If you enjoy your own company you wouldn't mind eating or going to a movie by yourself.
Alexeon 9
Why would you care if a grocery cashier thinks you are eating alone? I'm sure they could give less than a shit who or what you're eating with
SamiK90 9
As a cashier I honestly don't really pay attention or even think about if the customer is cooking for others or just themselves. Next time buy the biggest pork chop you can find and devour it. Don't worry about what the cashier thinks.
ZomBgal 12
I really don't understand why eating alone bothers people. I eat by myself most of the time, and I'm never bothered by it.