Today, I ordered food for delivery. I actually made it sound as if there were other people at home so I had an excuse for ordering so much. I don't think they bought it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ordered enough takeout for 3 people. When the delivery guy smiled and asked, "Family dinner?" I panicked and said, "They're parking." Even though I know that the delivery guy doesn't really give a shit, I stood outside my apartment for 5 minutes pretending to wait for imaginary relatives before going back inside alone. FML
Today, I ordered a mountain of junk food for myself on Deliveroo. Embarrassed, I pretended there was other people in the house by yelling, "Food’s here, everyone!" to avoid judgment. The delivery guy smiled and said, "Come on, be honest mate, no one else is in there is there?" FML
Today, I ordered takeout. When I looked in the bag, I saw they'd included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, then estimated that there must be at least four people eating such a large meal. I was eating alone. FML
Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
Today, I ordered a food delivery because I was too tired to cook. I tracked the driver on the app for 20 minutes before realizing I'd sent it to my old address. My former neighbor enjoyed my tacos more than I did. FML
Today, I ordered a food delivery and tracked it obsessively because I was starving. When it 'arrived', I realized I’d sent it to my old address from two years ago. Support said it was “successfully delivered.” Somewhere, a stranger is enjoying my dinner while I eat crackers. FML
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML
Today, I received a food delivery. The bag was huge. I thought the restaurant had made a mistake and given me extra food. I checked the receipt; it said, “Special note: For our hungriest customer. Extra napkins!” They'd remembered me from last time I ordered a ton of food. FML
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Top comments
ahabsfan 17
Either don’t order so much food if it embarrasses you or get over it and stop worrying about what others think of you.
RichardPencil 32
You didn't tip enough. If you were less stingy, they would have pretended a lot harder to believe you.
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Comments (5)
ahabsfan 17
Either don’t order so much food if it embarrasses you or get over it and stop worrying about what others think of you.
RichardPencil 32
You didn't tip enough. If you were less stingy, they would have pretended a lot harder to believe you.
sarkycow 25
I've done this! haha ..it was when I first moved to the States and pretty much the only food that delivered in my area (I didn't have a vehicle at the time) was pizza. I'm not a big pizza person so I'd order pizza and some of the other things on the menu to try them, figuring I'd have leftovers for a couple more days. Then I'd worry that they'd think I'm a fat bastard (well, I am) so when there was a knock on the door I'd shout "no it's okay ....I'll get it!!" 😄😂 Now ...I really couldn't care less!
Bubbilility 27
The only one judging you here is you. Everyone has had a binge moment, people who work with food legit don't care, and they don't know you're not ordering early, or in another room. I guarantee you doing this made them remember you more than if you had just ordered and handled it normally. People always think they're more memorable than they are.
randybryant799 21
So let me get this straight. Someone died and it's poor you???