Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I installed motion sensor lights in my house to save on energy. When I laid down in bed, I saw the lights turn on from downstairs to the kitchen. I live alone. FML
Today, I'm staying in a hotel where the lights are automatic. They turn on when something moves and turn off when everything is still. I'm a sensitive sleeper and I move in my sleep, so the light wakes me up. It's currently 2 a.m. and all together I've gotten about 20 minutes of sleep. FML
Today, I finally managed to sleep, after two days of being kept awake by the miniature floodlights my neighbors have installed to scare off burglars. Only a couple of hours into my sleep, I woke up to the sound of their car being broken into. FML
Today, my dad reactivated a digital clock we had lying around, and accidentally set an alarm on it. For 1 a.m.. So guess who went hunting for that noise in the middle of night. And guess who banished the thing to the living room, then forgot about it, and slept on the sofa in said living room. Or tried to. FML
Today, I'm dead on my feet. My flatmate's alarm went off for 20 minutes at 5 a.m., which I heard and he didn't. A car alarm went off outside my window for half an hour at 7 a.m. My building fire alarm went off twice, at 8 and 8:10 a.m. Just let me sleep. FML
Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch while babysitting. When the kids' parents came home, they made fake crying noises to see if I would wake up. I slept like a baby, and by the time they finally roused me, I'd left a nice drool stain on the armrest. FML
Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML
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Top comments
yamazumi 8
pff, their fault, would have gotten up anyway.
Rinat_fml 26
I wouldn't hold it in if I were you, it's just a siren, not a cage of lions.
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Comments (87)
yamazumi 8
pff, their fault, would have gotten up anyway.
sayyestothedress 24
I don't know how OP survived to last 2 hours
NeatNit 33
yeah I agree, so what if he trips the alarm? he can just turn it off immediately...
lexiieeex3 32
I would have had the "**** it" mindset and not cared. It's their fault for being neglectful.
James_is_Mexican 25
"I wanna play a game."
incoherentrmblr 22
This's just like Mission Impossible when he's a couple feet off of the floor and that drop of sweat that's about to fall off his face is you needing to piss...
shredzone 5
You obviously have a phone, so text your parents?
Cass_x 22
This isn't such a bad idea actually. He HAS a phone, how could he have posted the fml otherwise? A computer doesn't seem very likely in this situation.. I mean, he can't move or the sensor will notice him..
Queensland 27
His/her parents are asleep. Unless they leave their phone on loud (which is stupid when you're sleeping), they wouldn't get the message
Cass_x 22
Well maybe they do.. You can't know that..
Vegetarian27 24
FMLs aren't always posted the day they happen.
yamazumi 8
My phone is on loud and vibrate when I sleep, only way my alarm will wake me in the morning.
wysteria14 17
Them saying "It's been 2 hours" suggests that this was posted as it occurred
tantanpanda 26
exactly. Since OP told us that it has been 2 hours, it means that OP typed the fml during that time period. If op didn't, then they would have specified the complete wait time. critical thinking skills, people.
littleteapot 21
Well the FML wouldn't have sounded as good if it was written in past tense.
cricketsins 36
You should just get up and go pee. Maybe next time they will wake you up.
Enslaved 38
But OP is just trying to be nice in return. The parents let him sleep so he wants to let them sleep too. Seems like a sweet person but eventually can only hold it so long.
sayyestothedress 24
#30 it's not sweet, it's stupid to sleep or sit there still for two hours, and he/she had to use the bathroom, I would get up and not give a shit!
Enslaved 38
Not saying it wasn't stupid but it is still sweet. The parents probably saw how dead tired the OP was and allowed him to continue to sleep on the couch. Not waking him up was a nice thing for them to do. Other than trying to return the favour because they didn't wake him up, I don't see why the OP wouldn't just trigger the alarm? People make it seem like the parents were assholes. I see them as parents not wanting to interrupt their kid's rest. Something I would value if I were tired enough to fall asleep on the couch myself. Why have a I don't give a shit attitude to someone not wanting to wake you up?
Rinat_fml 26
I wouldn't hold it in if I were you, it's just a siren, not a cage of lions.
auro7 18
some alarms will dial the police and other emergency services. if OP's doesn't do that, it will at least wake up everyone in the house and possibly the neighbors too, though.
Garrett2818 21
If it's that big of a deal to trip your siren then just yell for your parents.
Cass_x 22
Don't you know the code? We have one too, so.. Maybe you can get up really fast, run to the alarm, turn it off and then go pee? About your parents who will probably wake up; it's their fault anyway. So it'd be really unfair if they'd get mad at you. Good luck!
darwinism 30
Get up, run around, then pretend you are sleeping again when your parents come down. That will ensure they wake you up next time.
Crossbowe 13
if the alarm is going off how could you pretend to be sleeping...
k1a2t3h4r5y6n7 7
awesomness at its finest
Crofty92 17
Your parents would rather be woken up than have to replace the couch because you pissed on it.
bnlsn 8
can I just call bs on this one, your alarm if set to home (which it would be since you're at home) does not turn on the motion sensors only the door sensors
GigaPudding_fml 24
We have a night alarm with motion sensors. It's not that unusual!
slyde32 12
I'm guessing this moderated comment was the same thing I was thinking, our old alarm system had a setting to activate the motion sensors, or just use the doors to trip it, so at night you wouldn't set the the alarm off to use the toilet. Any alarm that can't have motion sensors disactivated seems like a stupid idea to me
underthesea12 24
hope you can hold it till morning