Worker rise up!
Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML
Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized I have to choose between being unemployed or putting up with my perverted boss who desperately wants me. I'm a guy and so is he. FML
Today, I realized I get paid to hear my boss complain and talk crap. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML
Today, my boss bragged to a coworker, in front of me, about how much money he saved on a project because he majorly underpays me. My boss is my dad. FML
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
Today, my boss agreed to a 20% pay rise, in exchange for adding a list of new responsibilities to my job description that will effectively double my workload, which he expects to be carried out in the same 8 hour workday, and not on overtime either. My boss is my dad and I hate him. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise, but he told me my position is a legal requirement that produces no profit, unlike every other employee, ergo if I’m feeling ungrateful about my generous wage, he will happily fire me and hire someone else at minimum wage, saving the company money. FML
Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML
Today, my boss, mentor, and gaming buddy, has officially quit. Turns out even he doesn't get paid enough to deal with this bullshit. FML
Today, I realized that I know, all too well, what it feels like to have my over-middle-age boss's boob on my shoulder. FML
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Top comments
FuckAllOurLives 6
welcome to the real world
flockz 20
call ************ jones.
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Comments (197)
FuckAllOurLives 6
welcome to the real world
CattyPurry 0
i can tell you really dislike your boss, not by what he did but by your choice of vocabulary OP.
Cokie_the_Clown 5
Did he make you do work, OP? Why do you hate him so much? If you don't like your job (assuming that you don't like your work cause you complained about the wage) get a new one.
itsrainingmen_fml 0
For the rest of eternity? Or you could just get a different job.
Keyman1212 14
You know, if he were to die, from say a 'heart attack' due to a high increase in sodium in his coffee, he wouldn't ride your ass so hard. Cause he'd be dead.
Magic1 9
This sounds a little over-drammatic :P
Mysanitywins 10
TL:DR
tatababe 1
So detailed how did you come to realize this
Jvr91 8
Should have went to college
HouTexans23 0
30- this makes me think of the movie Horrible Bosses
oh_your_god 15
What real world do you live in?
iSackismexy 0
14- Mr Popo!?
Eaglestrike117 29
Quit?
superrnovaa 7
Invitation declined :p
Laners561769 9
McDonalds is always hiring.....
elizabeth9m 4
Owned .
King_Samuel29 4
i believe you spelled whithered wrong
Trixness 3
I didn't know that Hell had wifi!
ReynshineCutting 10
Actually do you have any idea how hard it is to get a job at McDonalds right now? You go to apply along with 15 other people if there's an opening.
ally_85 1
so step up your game...
techweed 12
Your boss's name is Satan, so I don't think he will ever die
AnotherRandomPer 0
So OP lives in Georgia and lost a fiddle battle?
daysgoby902 6
grow some balls
LoveLife293 2
Satan already has died... well, not physically.
Ldesu 0
I was thinking Evelyn Harper, but Satan is close enough, I guess.
StarWolf111 21
I take great offense to that.
greekgal44 14
find another job then quit.
ciarafox9 9
It's a recession. Unfortunately there arnt Many jobs. You have to take what you get and be thankful you have a job
sxe_beast 11
Well there's nothing wrong with looking and applying elsewhere. It can't hurt anyone XD
roflcopter423 0
He should watch horrible bosses
sparklecherry 4
I agree with Greekgal. It's not that hard. Especially if he's making minimum wage. Go flip burgers or something.
Calyx_fml 22
He's a necromancer? He raises undead zombies? I think you mean necrotic.
kingalexander315 4
Or they meant necrophiliac which means likes dead bodies
Calyx_fml 22
Step away from the MMORPGs KaySL. In the real world, its necrotic, meaning "near death". Let me Google necromancy for you: "Necromancy is a form of magic in which the practitioner seeks to summon the spirit of a deceased person." "The practice of supposedly communicating with the spirits of the dead in order to predict the future". "The supposed practice of communicating with the dead, esp. in order to predict the future." FAIL
Mysanitywins 10
I love KaySL..
Calyx_fml 22
The context is that his boss is "ancient and withered". This implies necrosis or "dying tissue" not necromancy or "the practice of speaking with or raising the dead". Necromancy has nothing to do with immortality. Its a practice, not a state. No relying on your substantial FML cred KaySL. Look up the definitions yourself. Skool'd
Calyx_fml 22
"...or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies" indicates that the context of necromantic is that of an adjective on the noun "ass", describing the deathlike state of his boss. Not the "eternity" referenced in the previous clause. Reading comprehension. Show me any definition of necromancy from any reputable dictionary that has the least bit to do with immortality or eternity. Paste the URL here. Go ahead... I'll wait. But I'll agree with you on my use of FAIL and skool'd. It was stupid.
flockz 20
that might have been the biggest verbal rape i have ever seen. and trust me im a pro at raping.... anywayyy.....
commonman 0
Ur argument is invalid
Calyx_fml 22
The difference here is that i actually looked up the definitions while you just made them up, trading on your popularity here to provide you with some sort of authority. There is no dictionary definition of necromancy that implies immunity from death. I still challenge you to find one and post it here. Your syntactic and grammatical analysis of the OPs FML is so wrong its worthy of an FML itself. I would also like for the readers to count the number of direct personal insults KaySL hurled at me vs the lack of thereof (even compliments) hurled by me at him. At that point you can decide who is the "********".
KiddNYC1O 22
What the "twat are you ranting on about"?That's KaySL for you, Calyx. Always been like that, don't take it personal. If you can't take the heat... you know the rest. Now, slowly back away from the Sun.
Brool_Story_Co 17
Both of you are wrong. Necromancy is the practice of summoning spirits for the purpose of seeing into the future. Calyx you are a dumbass, it has nothing nothing to do with being close to death. KaySL I understand how you think it means you are immortal, some definitions make it sound like the conjurer is summoning spirits for the purposes of immortality but upon reading the further I found nothing suggesting immortality. http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/necromancy?q=Necromancy
_Oblivion_ 12
yeah 70 that was some very intense verbal rapage, way to get ur ass handed to ya calyx
Brool_Story_Co 17
KaySL- you made a mistake in one of your arguments. You pointed that Calyx has two brain cells, that was a pretty bad overestimation, I would be surprised if he even had one
_Oblivion_ 12
damn kaysl types fast, his last comment took a minute judging by the timestamps
TeeHee124 0
I am like biting my nails reading you guys arguments. This is some hardcore crap man.
Calyx_fml 22
Brool_Story_Co: I never said that necromancy means a state close to death. I said that necrosis means that. The evidence is above in black and white. KaySL: Last word. If the OP intended to imply that his boss was immortal due to the practice of necromancy then why would he finish the FML with implying that his boss will die? Hmm? Your caustic wit has dissolved your reasoning, but fooled the sycophantic hordes who agree with you.
_Oblivion_ 12
calyx just shut up your not going to win, in fact youll just be run over by kaysl's awaiting army of words.
ghost303 3
ITT: children on the Internet
Brool_Story_Co 17
I have lost the will to waste my time arguing with you Calyx. Talk to me when your IQ gets above 5.
tona01 16
Calyx & Kaysl, there is a chance that both interpretations are correct, you can interpret the FML both ways. But you where to blind to see that maybe just maybe it depends on how a person reacts to the fml. Ps kaysl, you are like a legend here, together with boners, docbastard and sirebc you are the most famous in here after the mods. And if you read carefully you see that a bunch of commenters actually do kiss your ass with passion
LordGoober 13
Boners, I thought that was a normal Friday night with you when your at my place?
blakrhynes 0
i bet there both the same person arguimg with eachother( themselves)
ILoveEggnog 7
Mmmm....KaySL.
jcasebier 5
I dont see why definitions were even brought into this conversation, it was not mean literally.
sheethapins 13
128 He does that at your house too? Damn it boners! I thought we had something special... ;-;
willbruton_ 0
It's funny that people would take the time to argue on this site... Do you 2 feel satisfied after wasting all that time over something no-one cares about? Read the FML, comment saying something funny if you must, then move onto the next, it's pretty simple...
CryMoreFMLs 15
KaySL..... You are my God, and Boners is my savior on this site. Please, accept my humble offering if my insanity.
margie2194 12
KaySl your articulation turns me on. Mmmm.
zakkyzebra 11
I literally stopped after Calyx was stupid enough to reply to KaySL and got some popcorn. Why? I knew shit was going down.
allard 14
People, we just witnessed something amazing.
rangermedic77 5
I think op means his boss is a necromorph out of dead space.. probably a slasher.
dragonforerunner 2
For some reason neither of you took into account the fact that as a necromancer the OP's boss would be able to summon them back to continue to work even after the OP has died. And IF necromancers are immortal then it would be for "all eternity". But either way any time spent working feels like eternity.
truthinlies 1
4 OP means necromancer that's why he wrote it
rallets 23
i just got wood
Bladian 5
I think it's funny people are praising KaySL when he/she is quite obviously wrong.
BrookeyLynnie 2
Necromancers actually just summon the spirit back into the body which raises the dead... So this doesn't really make to much sence... I read a lot O.O
flockz 20
call ************ jones.
imosim 0
Mutha fucka jones knows what he's doin... For a price
Ryanmatuszak 5
That is the single greatest comment i have ever seen on FML.
futtbuck101 1
Should be called motherfuck over-jones to avoid confusion.
kenshin496 3
Hahaha fkin laugh my fkin ass off.. Lol
dr_ivan 2
haha that's funny
seaneboi777 0
Nah it's mutha fucka jones
becauseitsme 0
yeah. or you could quit. walk away. and get a new job with a different ass of a boss. who will pay you minimum wage. because that's life. get used to it dumb ass.
Mysanitywins 10
I normally wouldn't say this, but. U mad?
itzrizzo 0
lmfao
becauseitsme 0
I'm serious. it's the power thing. and well no one really wants to pay you more then they have to. and if they are making money. they dont care about you.
Mysanitywins 10
Cool story bro.
SpankyMcThrust 6
"...get used to it." God it's POS's like you that really grind my gears. Toss the defeatist attitude or seclude yourself from society, we don't need people like you.
sheethapins 13
Yeah sure they could do that... Or quit being lazy, strive for college, and in turn have a life they don't HAVE to get used to but rather choose to get used to it. If op isn't happy he could do something about it, rather than take advice from a cynic who expects the worst out of life and anticipates bare minimum.
AlbinoMoose987 14
Ok you are being overly dramatic and rude about this I think you seriously need to take a moment to reflect on how your treating this random guy on the internet
RabidBunny 10
If you don't like it than I suggest you do something about it. Nothing is worth more than your dignity.
HannahForbesxo 13
Try changing your situation then? You're obviously a bit of a pushover if you're that "whipped" that your boss takes advantage of you. There's a difference between helping someone out and being their bitch. If not, I could set you up with someone who will eh, dispose of him, so to speak. Hehe.
ThatGenericGuy 6
Maybe there will be an "accident".
ciarafox9 9
So kill him.. Problem solved :) I'm just kidding ignore the voice in your head