Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML
Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML
Today, while commuting to work on a peak hour train, I lost my balance and accidentally grabbed a bald mans head to steady myself. To make matters worse, the words "oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a knob" came out of my mouth before I could think about what I was saying. FML
Today, I was taking the train home from another unsuccessful job interview. As I was sitting there, I felt the urge to yawn, but before I could raise my hand to cover my mouth some guy stuck his finger in it. FML
Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
Today, I tried to secretly take a photo of a cute guy on the train. I forgot my flash was on. He looked straight at me, smirked, and said, “If you wanted my picture, you could’ve just asked.” I got off three stops early. FML
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Top comments
Paradoodle 5
you could totally fix that. when you get off just say I'm sorry I get nervous around cute guys and I'm sorry for offending you. then wink and get off
Fop 6
Ugh, I know the feeling. When I'm deep in thought, I end up just staring in a random direction. One time, I was staring at a girl's boobs without even knowing. She noticed...
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Comments (58)
tisiphone_fml 0
That's so sad. Too bad you didn't work up the nerve to say something to him. Maybe you'll see him when you ride the train again? Where I live, its frequently the same conductors on the same trains...
martic835 2
LMFAO! Prosthetic arm FTW!
kenman884 2
Shoukd've explained yourself. Probably wpuld've made the guy's month.
Danielt104 6
Just explain to him what happened.
myrddraal_fml 0
oo haha I know the exact train guard! was it on the J'ville line?
mugiwara_fml 0
Do you mean his "hot" prosthetic arm ? :o)
peter96d 0
how do you ACCIDENTALY stare at someones arm.... especially a prostetic one what r u ..blind?
Dearthairclann 7
It sucks that he has a fake arm but his negative and presumptuous attitude may have cost him a potential relationship. This is a prime example of the implications caused with having a defeatist outlook. Hopefully, he'll be lucky enough for you to explain yourself someday. If not, it's his loss
Lunasis 14
honestly just explain the situation to him he'll go from uncomfortable to best day in ages real quick