Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating out with my family. I have 2 brothers. Our waitress comes and says, "Look at those 3 handsome young men." I didn't think of it until my 5-year-old brother shouted, " She's a girl!'" FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year-old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML
Today, I was eating dinner with my husband and his family. My father-in-law says to my mother-in-law, "You know what’s in your mouth? Sausage!" It was so random that I laughed, as quietly as I could. My husband then loudly asked me what was so funny. Everyone went quiet and looked at me. FML
Today, I bought a pack of peanuts to share with my partner and his 16 ear-old daughter, whom I'd just been introduced to. I asked him if I could eat his peanuts as well, since he wasn't eating them and, because my greedy mouth was stuffed with my own peanuts, it came out as, "Can I eat your penis?" FML
Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "Fuck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Today, while working as a line cook, one of the servers sincerely asked me, "What sauce goes on a chicken bacon ranch sandwich?" I replied, a little incredulously I'll admit, "…Ranch." She then totally lost her cool and went full-blown adult temper tantrum because I was, "mean to her." FML
Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML
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Top comments
PsychoMerk 0
lol :') "the damage was done!"
boopityboppity 11
Well, now we know what you were really thinking about. Gotta love those Freudian Slips.
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Comments (94)
Ragna_fml 0
Reminds me of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCS_4bizDUw There is much peaness going around here.
Averizzle 0
What is peaness? Sounds appetizing.
DavidCooksAngel 0
That family is lame. ;-/ I would have laugh my ass off.
gabirolon 1
I agree!!! I was laughing for 20 mins just now
whoadangitssam 0
this was in seventeen magazine several months ago. this is fake.
samantha_durano 6
hahahh, woww.
sdawg27 0
haha that sucks, FYI brown sauce is generally espanol sauce one of the five basic mother sauces made pimairaly out of brown roux and beef stock.
Secret_Fire_King 0
I'm gunna say.. YDI.. because you were thinking about his meat sword when you said it.. Men are not objects.. You should stop being such a pervert.. (I'm just kidding.. but if OP was a guy perving on a girl, I could only imagine what everyone would be saying..)
inurockx 0
this is from seventeen magazinee EPIC FAIL
asianwolf 2
hey don't discriminate dyslexics are teople poo
TehToaster 0
62- YOU fail because you actually READ 17.
ExcitingJosh 5
#62 Maybe she sent it into seventeen magazine
pepsie_fml 0
ugh um eww no one will want it now
eriksen19 1
Or the mom in the family wants it, if you know what I mean...
PsychoMerk 0
lol :') "the damage was done!"
creepermagnet 0
Haha well more for you now =]
Bruticus 0
Anyone else realize this is fake? It is a joke. I knew I heard it before.
thecbake4 0
I will never eat peanut sauce again...
Gumblebum100 0
agreed
drayloon 50
I thought the white sauce was the penis sauce...
Rustbin 0
That's not where you're supposed to put it!
boopityboppity 11
Well, now we know what you were really thinking about. Gotta love those Freudian Slips.
Carly9999 0
You stole this from Seventeen's Traumaramas. Don't you have anything better to do?
crazylady654 0
totally did. FRAUD. Go pleasure yourself or something.
korn247 5
wow dumb broad... thinking about penis a little much