Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking to the optometrist when I saw my creepy stalker following me. The entire shopping centre then sounded the alarm, so the rail was half down. Desperate to get away from my stalker, I turned around and walked out the store and hit my head on the rail in front of the employee. FML
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML
Today, I realized my reflection in the subway window wasn’t just my reflection - it was an actual person sitting outside the train, making the same face as me. We both jumped when we locked eyes. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, I faced my fears. I've always had a weird fear of looking out of windows at night, afraid a face would suddenly appear. When I heard a strange noise outside, I looked out the window. Sure enough, the face of a man suddenly appeared. FML
Today, on my way to work, I was checking my hair in the semi-reflective window of an office building. I suddenly realized that the guy I had a one-night stand with last week was standing on the other side, looking confused. He now genuinely believes that I am stalking him. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, I was riding the subway home after a long shift at hospital. I accidentally made eye contact with a sketchy dude for a split second. He launched a wide spray of spit at me. At least I was wearing scrubs. FML
Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You should have blown him a kiss and started running in circles. That way HE would be the one scared to go out.
ea49610 0
Probably just messing with you
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Comments (114)
CoolRainbowdash 15
Thats scary
dirtroadboy 7
Carry a pistol. permits are cheap and well worth it. But make sure you learn to shoot before you pack!
boydeee01 7
Anybody want some **** flavored soup? (I'm totally serious)
MrBoredGuy 1
They're cheap? No they're actually quite expensive, for a pistol permit AND a concealed carry permit plus an actual pistol, that's a lot of dough
changesinme 0
Oh hey, it's just Freddy Krueger
rofflewaffle 9
Sounds like OP was on *sunglasses* the wrong side of the tracks. YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH
gojira666 7
1-800-GO-UHAUL. Use it before its too late.
lebronesque73091 12
It doesn't sound scary the way you described it.
urdirtyolduncle 15
*looks at 80 and runs fingers across neck like a knief, while yelling, "I'm gonna ******* kill you, bitch!!"* Does it sound scary now, 80?
SkateBoarding 4
Did u ever notice that everybody's fmls are from australia
dirtroadboy 7
I paid 135 for lifetime conceal carry and 500 for a springfield xd. not that expensive
dirtroadboy 7
That was meant to 50 fyi
JHC88 2
Good plan except it's illegal to own a gun in Australia unless you live on a rural property. I'd move house if I was OP
dirtroadboy 7
98- I am on fml mobile and it doesn't show where the posting was from. I was unaware of the laws there as well. Basing my comments off personal experiance in Indiana (US).
Sexyhotanna 8
he probably just wants to tickle your neck, that's all(: lol
iheartstewie7 5
Not "everybody's" but yeah, I feel like a majority of them are from Australia and the UK. I guess they just encounter a lot of ****** up shit.
ea49610 0
Probably just messing with you
j_cat187 20
I would still take as a threat.
Savra_fml 17
#2 is right, the guy was just trying to play. Aussies would call this game "knivesies - necksies" or something of the like. Nothing to worry about really.
ImInYourFACEbook 8
Or maybe OP was wearing a really nice necklace and the stranger has a really weird way of complementing people?
WCARlover 35
I'd probably crap myself...oh wait I do that anyway
WCARlover 35
^wow my brother was on my account and wrote that -_-
EmilyJoSmyth 4
Final last words.
TheWindowLicker 13
I think you mean famous not final, 76.
TheWindowLicker 13
I think you mean famous not final, 76.
lebronesque73091 12
LOL @ #56
that_band_nerd 22
Well most last words are pretty final
seximexi911 10
I'm pretty sure I wouldn't know how to take that.
soccerguy2 11
I would get a knife and do it back instead of using a finger and doing it like a pussy would. (the second part sounds a little weird, I know)
FaustXIII 0
Don't make it weird, just handle it like anyone else would: Bend over and spank your own ass at him, alerting him that you are ready to copulate via the backdoor.
iveseentomuch 3
I think he wants to tickle your neck :D. You know...just with a knife
silentspilla 0
lmfao!!
DocBastard 40
You should have blown him a kiss and started running in circles. That way HE would be the one scared to go out.
BDTony13 0
what such a perfect picture for this FML lol^
OctoberRainfall 13
would totally do that
ananonymousguy 0
Didn't recognize you there Doc.
SecretMe00 5
Uh no... OP can just say (s)he did and not. Actually OP should inform the proper authorities.
ErinBeam 1
That's creepy, but don't let his gesture keep you from enjoying your balcony.
perdix 31
You ought to whip out your Crocodile Dundee knife and say, "That's not a knife -- this is a knife!" And make sure you carry a gun, in case all Aussies have knives like that.
doubleea 3
All of us Aussies do have knives like that...
gr8koolkat 6
Ah Crocodile Dundee, who has forever stereotyped us Australians. Gotta love it!
kickuwithmyfist 1
Ooo looks like someone has a hot date =D
SupaHotFire 4
Maybe his neck was sweating and he got something in his eye...or he's a creeper who likes to scare people
xSorry_fml 10
Still better than him pointing at his ass then making thrusting gestures.
lovestheice 0
No it's not!! Rather raped than killed!!!/: