poo4brains
Christchurch, New Zealand 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
EffinAhole
France 🌶️ Spicy
Skin deep
Today, to spice things up a bit, my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner, so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML
Anonymous
Third degree
Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Denied
Today, I woke up with a raging hard on. My wife, who was also awake, felt it when I pressed against her. She said, "No thank you," got up, and walked away. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML
Anonymous
Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Ouchies
Today, I was naked and the wife tried to flick my bum with a wet towel. Unfortunately I bent over at the wrong moment and the towel cracked right against the underside of my dangling penis. The whole underside is bruised, it hurts to pee, and God help me tomorrow if I get morning wood. FML
ThisBlows
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
What kind of sex are you having?
Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML
Big Baby
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Husband
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife called to me from across the house just to look at the penis-shaped period bloodstain on the back of her underwear. FML
Top comments
Nanobytez 5
I'm in Ohio and we call it Pain.
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
3) A Chinese burn (also referred to as an Indian burn or other burn related name depending on the locale) is the act of placing one's hands on a piece of someone's anatomy and twisting in opposite directions while applying pressure. It's usually done on the wrist of the aforementioned unlucky victim.
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Comments (286)
titzenpitzer 9
I didn't know what a chinese burn meant. I googled and now I do. Guys, you know that thing, when another guy tells a painful story about his genitalia, you get that tickling and almost painful feeling in your stomach? You pull an O-face and you schrink together? Cause that's what I'm feeling right now. Be strong, OP!
Dirty_Minded_FML 2
That's not a Chinese burn. Its a new technique of masturbation.
pexy_fml 16
What is Chinese burn ?
immaMonsta 8
#41 Someone already asked that. Looked at #3's comment, someone explained. Or maybe you could just Google it.
honeybuncher 3
Y U NO LIKE IT?
rdrr 2
NO! *shudder*
rooney0710 5
That picture is so disturbing. Please change it
rooney0710 5
I don't care if it's of you or not
merko 8
42) your profile pic is very very attractive, and i find it easy to achieve a full blown hard on when i look at that picture!
kirrra 11
how do 26 people think op deserved this..! no matter what my other half did to upset me,I don't think I could ever bring myself to inflict this kind of pain! either your wife is evil and cruel,or you did something insanely horrible to her,still dont think you deserved this though!
janerose21 3
Good morniiingggg my love and then.....
jaff23 11
Your wife is cruel! Get out while you can!
ooohnooo 0
Vbui uAK I Q I
justlikeme79 9
I'd like to buy a vowel.
rooney0710 5
Probably thought you were hard thinking about another girl
charvisioku 22
In which case she's a raving insecure psychopath and probably needs heavy counselling.
traedaria 14
Ouch!! Those are also known as snake bites btw but omg why would she do that?!? FYL big time OP