poo4brains
Christchurch, New Zealand 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
EffinAhole
France 🌶️ Spicy
Skin deep
Today, to spice things up a bit, my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner, so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML
Anonymous
Third degree
Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Denied
Today, I woke up with a raging hard on. My wife, who was also awake, felt it when I pressed against her. She said, "No thank you," got up, and walked away. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML
Anonymous
Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Ouchies
Today, I was naked and the wife tried to flick my bum with a wet towel. Unfortunately I bent over at the wrong moment and the towel cracked right against the underside of my dangling penis. The whole underside is bruised, it hurts to pee, and God help me tomorrow if I get morning wood. FML
ThisBlows
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
What kind of sex are you having?
Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML
Big Baby
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Husband
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife called to me from across the house just to look at the penis-shaped period bloodstain on the back of her underwear. FML
Top comments
Nanobytez 5
I'm in Ohio and we call it Pain.
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
3) A Chinese burn (also referred to as an Indian burn or other burn related name depending on the locale) is the act of placing one's hands on a piece of someone's anatomy and twisting in opposite directions while applying pressure. It's usually done on the wrist of the aforementioned unlucky victim.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (286)
TarieBoo 2
maybe shes just bad at surprise handjobs...? No, okay._.
groupleader 7
Wow, talk about an alarm clock....hope you didn't hit snooze, cuz you would get it again in 7 minutes.
bakedpie99 2
OMG... I'm sorry
bspiper87 7
Thats payback for giving her ****** a wet Willy the.night before....but damn i think she took it alittle far....if my wife did that to me.....she would be sleeping on the couch
dmac843 2
If mine did it to me, she'd be sleeping in the streets.
DerekCorbett 18
Kinky!
DuckyMomo 2
Give her a break at least she tried!
unixdude 9
Yeah. An arm, or nose.
unhappycamperuk 12
unpleasant, but she was obviously trying to wake you with a hand job, which makes her awesome. Painful as it was, it's in your best interests to not make a big deal of it, teach her right from wrong and foster this behaviour.
megansays 2
Indian rug burn. And that's always made more sense to me because it feels like a rug burn. Whoever came up with that was a bastard.
lflickin 6
Maybe she thought you liked it that way?
KriiFahMoro 9
It's funny how a girl causing unreasonable pain to her spouse is SAO FAHNNY. But if a guy inflicted the same amount of pain in SELF-DEFENSE, his ass would land in jail, and the bitch spouse would be called a hero in the news. Goddamn double standards....