Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
The bed is lava
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Hello from the other side
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Hell no!
Today, my wife opted for a home birth with a nurse and her mother. Her mother is such a baby-feral, men-are-bastards, hippie feminist dragon that not only did she yell at me when I tried to be in the room, she has now pushed me out of the house. I ended up sat in my car with only one shoe and no phone. FML
Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML
Nervous
Today, at work, we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
Double standards
Today, my husband was offered, and accepted, pain relief during an ultrasound on his scrotum, and I’m sat here remembering how I wasn’t offered any pain relief at all while birthing a 9lb baby, because I was left in the waiting room so long they told me it was too late for an epidural. FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
Slight hiccup
Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggested she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill herself because of her severe medical condition." FML
Help!
Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
Top comments
nerdyninjarobot 5
Holy shit that bitch needs to be fired. That is so out of line!
SolarLunix 21
Super unprofessional. Report her!
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Comments (233)
RoseCrystal 17
I hope you chewed that horrid waste of space out and got her fired. I also hope that everything went well with your wife and the baby is healthy.
shepp626 11
What the hell? L&D is very competitive, there are lots and lots of nurses who would genuinely enjoy her spot. My L&D nurse was the only reason I made it through, and why I became a nurse, can't imagine if I had ended up with someone like yours instead. Even jokingly wishing death on someone, especially an innocent infant, is seriously messed up.
soulreaper12296 28
I'd be reporting her to a higher-up right a way.
Destiel_ 11
thats super ****** up. i heard things similar to that during my labour, so i was in turn a huge bitch to the doctor, i "woke her up from her nap near the end of her 24 hour shift" to have my baby. they get to bring a human being into the world you'd think they'd be a bit ******* nicer. i hope it all went well and you and yhe family got home without a hitch :)
StickyPickles 33
What a ****
MisterEx 28
Angels of mercy!
rojita369 17
I hope you reported her before you left. I'd be on war path until I had her fired.
whassallt26 13
This woman muttered this to a friend, probably jokingly, I'm not saying that joke was very tasteful but also keep in mind what a nurses job is, and how difficult and frustrating it is
cadillacgal79 32
Joke or not, it is absolutely not funny to wish death on a not yet born baby! That nurse needs to be fired from her position if her smoke cravings are more important than helping OPs wife through her seemingly painful labour.
sasaen 12
But it appears that her cravings weren't more important than doing her job because if they were she probably would have just walked out to get a smoke. I'm not condoning what the nurse said but I know I've made inappropriate comments to coworkers that would be taken badly if overheard by someone else. It's a stress reliever to complain to people who understand what you're going through. Of course she should have known better than to say that where anyone else might overhear it.
MandieL 27
Saying that you wish the baby would just die already is not only in poor taste, but something only a psychopath would say. If the craving for nicotine is that bad then she needs to admit she has an issue and deal with it. Not "relieve her stress" by wishing ill of someone, joking or not. How is it is any way, shape, or form, the mother, or the baby's fault that the labor was difficult? She should be more understanding of this as she has chosen to be a nurse in L&D. She should know what comes with the job, and to be that jaded she has had to have been there a while, so she had no excuse. If I have a nurse like this when I go into labor, you can be damn sure the hospital will hear about it as it is unprofessional and could be construed as a threat.
Fmlsea 28
even if that was a joke , A it was terrible jokes about babies dying are not funny .and B its an non appropriate joke for the work place . if i was the ladygiving birth , i wouldnt want that nurse anywhere near me. and if that nurse vauled her job she wouldnt be saying stupid shit that could get her fired.
somelildude 14
That bitch wants to smoke , how about getting FIRED?
laden_swallow09 35
Where there's smoke, there's FIRED!
starlandmarie 22
It's scary that people like that are working around babies. I would definitely say something. Maybe even request to have her removed from your wife's room. Congrats on your new baby!