Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML
Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML
Today, after several grueling weeks at the gym, my moribund sex drive suddenly kicked into high gear. All I want is for my husband to fuck me senseless, but he's now convinced I'm just trying to butter him up before dropping a bombshell. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, my wife told me that the only reason she gets it on with me is for the extra calorie burn. FML
Today, I told my man that I would love to have sex, provided that he helped me “warm up” enough to actually be able to enjoy it. His reply? "Well, never mind, if you’re not in the mood." FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML
Today, my fiancee told me she felt horny and was excited for bed, then got mad when I seemed indifferent. I'd be more interested if she didn't constantly wind me up by talking about sex, then get cold feet the second we're alone. FML
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Top comments
Nilorak 24
Ouch.
lovecrazy12 14
An affair is not the solution. Have you ever thought of trying to fix the problem whatever it may be? People like you make me sick.
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Comments (119)
laughmaster 9
Maybe he's just sayin the sex is repetitive, go to a sex shop, try new things, find new ways to stimulate each other
7yzzFML 17
All the toys in the world wont make a whale of a person look more sexually attractive. OP should give her an ultimatum that she either get in shape or he leaves.
Freeze_fml 17
Time to get her a gym membership.
olpally 33
Wow, bitch much? Talk to her. See what she wants you to do to spice things up.
Dilwann 27
Why is she a bitch? She just said that sex wasn't as good as it could be. Would you rather have her shut up about it and be miserable instead?
olpally 33
Instead of making op feel bad, she should talk to him instead of making him feel like shit. She's a bitch for doing that. It's fine she voiced her opinion, but that was extremely harsh, and uncalled for.
_Awesome_Red_ 11
You're screwed bro
hippo1234 19
Actually, he's not screwed. Hence the FML.
perdix 31
Spice up your sex life so it becomes like her getting in the mood to sit on the washing machine ;)
klovemachine 24
and use spices if you want to :-)
rt567 15
wow, communication is definitely crucial.
Kuhu1993 21
Awww man!! I feel for you but it's not the end ofcourse. Spice things up !
MVSK 8
Time to start taking notes and improve ... Give her something to look forward too
TiffGreen 11
sorry to hear that OP. I hope you two are able to get that spice back in your life
mimikinsz01 6
That was uncalled for.